I had a nice break from my endless unemployment in August. I worked for a university bookstore, helping students locate and purchase, or rent, their textbooks. I enjoyed working again, and enjoyed helping the students. I enjoyed my apron, my nametag, and my co-workers, but I was not kept on permanently, and so, now I am unemployed once again. I am running out of money rapidly, and may be unable to pay rent or bills in October. But, I am firing out those resumes, and I have a phone interview scheduled for this Thursday morning, so I may yet have a miracle.
Taking classes was my way of feeling constructive and positive during a time of considerable stress. Even though I wasn’t producing results in the job arena, I could still produce results in my classes. But, the stresses build up out of your conscious view. You can be cruising along seemingly happy, considering the circumstances, and then, as soon as something doesn’t go right you impulsively react in anger and frustration. A friend of mine rarely checks her email, and I knew this. Nevertheless, when a week had gone by after I had sent what I had considered a very lovely email, to her, I assumed she was pushing me away. She didn’t want to hear from me. So I reacted foolishly, not unlike my sudden anger at the teacher, and sent an overly dramatic email. She just replied “Hey don’t be paranoid”. If only the teacher had had the insight of how to defuse an angry email. Of course she was a friend, and knew me far better than the teacher. Also the teacher was far too aware of his special status as the course instructor to ever allow himself to communicate with a student in a direct, unofficial, casual, manner. The more full of himself he became, the more I disliked him. A vicious cycle, which simply a lightening up on his part or mine could have defused and I would likely still be in his class. But enough about that. Anger and dislike poisons your heart and mind and upsets the stomach as well. It has been hard to let go of my ongoing anger even though the episode is over.
All of this is attributable to not having a job, and the money is running out. All of it.
Poverty breeds angry, helpless people, angry, helpless, desperate people, who can become reckless in their frustration. A friend suggested I find ways to relax. I replied that I would find plenty of time to relax when I am living under a bridge.
And it certainly doesn’t help to watch the news. Mother Nature is giving us a pounding! Hurricanes, earthquakes, fires, you name it! And we have one of the weakest governments in recent memory, both Congress and the President are lame. Unbelievably lame. They are even worse than the lame instructor whose class I dropped. But one thing is clear.
THE RICH NEED TO GIVE IT UP.
They should do this willingly before they are forced to give up even more. Because the poor and the middle class becoming poor, are not going to lie down and die. They aren’t going to vote for Rick Perry or the Tea Party boneheads either, not when they realize that the Republicans are the party of the rich and the super-rich. While most people are upset with Pres. Obama, they are even more upset with the Congress and the Republicans.
If the rich people of this country would give up on being rich and just be satisfied with being comfortable, we could wipe out the debt and deficit, and focus on getting the unemployed back to work. It is the responsibility of the wealthy to prevent our economy from entering a double-dip recession which may just be a polite way of saying depression.
I hope my next blog entry will be brighter. Perhaps I will have a job by then.