beware of celebrity crushes


I haven’t written in here for a while, so….Every once in a while I get all caught up in some author, singer, comic, or whatever and have to sit and check out youTube for every little thing I can find on that person. Lately, my obsessive attention has been directed towards Margaret Cho. As so often happens with other people I have become attracted to, the more I dig, the more fascinating the person becomes. This is especially the case with Margaret Cho because she is so forth coming (or perhaps, I should say, forth cumming) about her life. Some might say too forth coming, but fuck them. It is refreshing to find someone who is totally theirself and refuses to play the usual entertainment industry game. Actually, come to think of it, she has played the game to some extent, after all we all gotta eat and keep a roof over our heads. No point in being totally fearless and homeless. But anyhow I admire her, and there is something about her that absolutely captivates me. It is bizarre that she is able to project total innocence and vulgarity at the same time. I can’t stop thinking about her! Someone just kill me now!!! But I realize and remind myself that I don’t actually know this woman. Nowadays, when you can sit and watch endless videos and read endless articles, reviews, and blogs about someone, you can develop this illusion that you know this person. It ain’t so. Margaret has a great line where she reflects on how her fans will approach her as if she were their best friend, and confide in her. “I really hate that!” she said. I can definitely relate to that. That is why I don’t confide shit to her. She knows next to nothing about me and I want to keep it that way! Well, unless she reads this blog, then she might know….ooops! Oh, well. At least I haven’t emailed her. Wait. I did. Shit.

Anyhow I have checked out her website, which I heartily recommend, and she has a blog there which of course I read. But, for all you perverts out there, her blog isn’t as perverted as her stand-up or her videos. It is just an honest account of whatever is going on in her life, in other words, boring. No, actually it is pretty interesting, except for parts that only her friends could relate to. In any case, she gives you the option of commenting on her blog, which is pretty brave of her. But then as I learned from one of her interviews, she doesn’t take shit off anybody. If you fuck with her with some hateful comment she will post your comment on her website with your email there for all to see, so her fans can fry your ass. Of course my comments only consisted of my pearls of wisdom (Ahem!). But what’s my point here?

My point has to do with the insidiousness of celebrity. For both the celebrity, and the fan. I mean, here comes this celebrity who pours her fucking heart out to the whole fucking world and you just fucking fall in love with her, and guess what??? There is absolutely no chance in hell that you could ever actually have this celebrity as a friend. It is an insidious illusion, my friends. (And you aren’t even my friends, dear readers, I don’t even fucking know who you are. There probably aren’t any dear readers. I’m just sitting here jacking off to myself.) Anyway, it’s crazy! It’s crazy to get wrapped up in a celebrity. They are just people, and there is no conceivable way that they can give a rat’s ass about all the people out there that “love” them, even though they have never met them. Unfortunately, I get the impression that Margaret Cho sincerely wants to fuck the whole world and bring them into her heart and her world. And, girl, that is a very bad idea!!! Very bad, indeed. If you start developing stigmata, Margaret (you know, bleeding from the palms and forehead like you-know-who), it is time to limit yourself to just a few close friends, not the whole fucking planet. Having said all that it is fun to daydream about being friends with someone like her. (Hey, I’m twenty years older than her, almost old enough to be her father, so sexual fantasies just creep me out).

However, it is a testimony to the power of the internet that it has the power to forge connections between individuals that will likely never meet one another. (Well, so far the connection has been one way, no word from her, and I don’t expect any) But it does give you a window onto another person’s life and allows you to care about them. When I read about the injury to Margaret Cho’s hand which she recounted in way too much detail, on her blog, I really felt for her, and couldn’t resist commenting yet again on her blog entry. Caring about someone like that is a beautiful thing. But I think I want to stop. It feels creepy, like I am nursing an illusion. There is no actual relationship here. Which leads me to wonder: Why did Margaret set up her blog that way? She could easily have required that fans register to the site, pay money, or only allow her actual friends to comment on her blog. Why encourage total strangers to comment? Does she actually give a shit about what the unwashed millions have to say about her? I suppose so. Just imagine all those wankers out there who are disappointed in her blog entries. “Shit man, it is soooo boring, she didn’t talk about fucking at all in her blog” They would probably post a comment if they could manage to figure out the controls.

Margaret Cho's dog reacts to a comment left on her blog.

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