Monthly Archives: January 2012

The Vagina

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If you are offended by sexual matters, especially when it comes to a frank, or humorous account regarding the vagina, don’t read this post.

There! I have fulfilled my obligation to an imaginary sea of ultra conservative readers. While it is true that nobody seems to like the penis, even fewer people like the vagina. They like the idea of the vagina, but the real deal, the actual orifice? not so much. Many women are embarrassed by their vagina, and cannot be persuaded to talk about it. It’s a shame. When you take a look at our insults, our slang, it is clear that we have extremely distorted ideas about our sexuality. Why is ‘fuck’, which of course refers to sexual intercourse, a derogatory term? It actually refers to the power politics of sex. Men having intercourse is viewed as a conquest. Women are made to feel degraded. If you are ‘fucked’ it is bad thing. I don’t think this is a healthy attitude. We associate sex with filth in many cases. I can recall my first encounter with pornography. I came across some cheap men’s magazines that had been tossed out, lying in the garbage behind the junior high school I attended. The stench of mildew, and the garbage reinforced the idea that sex is filthy. This is a bizarre idea. Sex is obviously the source of life, and should be considered sacred. In many other cultures, the vagina is held in high esteem. In western culture, we are beginning to see a bit of a change. Slowly.

One curious development in recent decades has been the shaving trend. Today many young women prefer to shave their pubic hair, and in some cases have pierced jewelry for their vagina. This is known as body adornment. I don’t necessarily have an issue with this, but I prefer women to be natural, unshaven. Pubic hair is erotic and I find it attractive. Why shave it? It leaves the vagina exposed and vulnerable. I have also noticed that pornography gives an unrealistic idea of how female genitals should appear. The idea is for the vagina to appear as unobtrusive as possible. You are left with something bearing a closer resemblance to a plastic doll than a human being. It makes it much harder for women to accept their genitals as they are. Men don’t make things any easier. (notice the similarity between women’s feelings about their vagina, and men’s feelings about their penis?). I would suspect that most women are reluctant to engage in oral sex with their boyfriend or husband, and only do so after considerable persuasion. I think the same is undoubtedly true for men. They are reluctant to engage in oral sex with their girlfriend or wife. They are repulsed by it, while also being attracted to it. Many people consider such behavior to be perverted. I think it is natural for us to want to enjoy each other’s bodies. The idea is to do so in a responsible, unharmful manner.

It is very difficult to get past our cultural conditioning. Somehow sex occurs. Obviously. But we behave as if we would never do such a nasty thing. Conversely, we may brag as though we have sex all the time, when actually we are freaked out by it. We are a sex obsessed culture because we don’t have much healthy sex. We are sexual beings and need to be able to express ourselves sexually without shame. I am fascinated by the vagina. It is a mysterious realm. This is where the strange event occurs. How is it that sperm and ovum produce a human being? I know we can explain all the biological particulars, but not the essential mystery. The vagina reminds me that we are a bundle of chemicals with funky smells, squishy, squirmy, and giggly. That is the joy which lies within the vagina. I think it is interesting how the vagina, when divorced from it’s context, and viewed by itself, looks very much like a cave, a natural formation. If you change the colors and add some bushes, maybe some cave explorers, it totally fools your eye. I hesitate to post a picture of a vagina, even in disguised form. I prefer to be cautious, but it also helps to have a sense of humor. You don’t come across nearly as much humor regarding the vagina as you do the penis. But I have included here a video of Margaret Cho’s “My Puss”, which is hilarious. It should be regarded as more of a celebration of the vagina, even though they brag about their puss and put down other pusses. We don’t need to be politically correct every moment of our existence.

I wish I could have written about the vagina with more humor, but I lack the depth of experience which provides that humor. Not that I lack experience (Ahem!), but I don’t happen to have a vagina, so I lack that insider’s view. Enjoy the video, but I warn you, it is pretty hard core!

The Problem with Obama

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I killed Osama ben Ladin! Is this the best he can offer us!

He doesn’t excite me like he did in 2008. He isn’t getting a handle on the economy, and he blames the Republicans. That is lame. Does he expect us to believe that the only way anything can get done is for the Democrats to have a huge majority in both houses of Congress? Other President’s found a way to push legislation through in spite of having to compromise. Obama deferred to Pelosi and Reid instead of taking charge. He strikes me as someone who is more concerned about being liked than being effective. He seems out of touch.

So it may surprise you to learn that I plan to vote for him. It is simply because the alternative is far worse. The Republicans have really gone off the deep end. The degree to which they are out of touch is truly scary.  It frightens me that about a third of the country have really crazy ideas! These nut cases need to be educated. Those of us that know better need to stop tolerating this nonsense and be vigilant in our defense of the truth! How could it happen that Rick Santorum would field a question about Barack Obama in which the questioner said Obama was a Muslim, and Santorum doesn’t correct him? Does Rick Santorum believe Obama is a Muslim? Or was he just afraid he would lose a supporter if he corrected? This is bullshit. These people should be no where near the levers of power. This is where fascists find support, the ‘Big Lie’ plays really well among these people.

But Barack Obama is hardly our fearless leader. I don’t think he particularly cares whether he is reelected or not. He doesn’t seem engaged in his re-election campaign. He goes through the motions, saying the same tired crap he’s been saying for too damn long. While I might agree with a lot of it, it doesn’t inspire me at all! He is boring!! Given what is taking place across our country, he should be fired up, taking on the Republicans with gusto! I don’t think Barack Obama is a true Democrat, at least not in the way I remember Democrats being. He may talk about taxing the rich, but he is a part of the country club crowd himself! He has no real understanding of what the poor people in America are going through. The poor are forgotten, except by a noisy Occupy movement, which is losing support, and the inconsequential left wing. What has happened to liberals? Have they all been shipped off to concentration camps when we weren’t looking?

So, while I support Barack Obama, it is a lukewarm, unenthusiastic support. Clearly, Romney or Gingrich would be worse. Ron Paul would not make a good President. He is an ideologue. He wouldn’t be able to get a single thing done. He would rant and rave, and nobody would pay much mind, because he wouldn’t exercise any true power. The bureaucratic military/industrial complex would not allow it. If he got too feisty, he might even get himself killed. So he isn’t a good idea. At least, Obama will do some things to help us poor folks out. It might not amount to much, but it would be something at least, until we can build up enough support to really mount a true revolution. Then we can begin to have some real leadership for a change, that doesn’t just serve the interests of the super rich. Barack Obama seemed so promising when he took office, it is such a shame that he has turned out to be such a disappointment.

Wake Up !!! My Message to Occupy Oakland

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Occupy Oakland plays into the enemy's hands

This post consists of my reaction to the latest bullshit from the Occupy Oakland movement. They were doing fine yesterday, until they insisted on breaking the law by breaking into a vacant building to occupy it. The police responded with tear gas, flashbangs,  and beanbag bullets. While I like the idea of occupying vacant buildings, there is a better way to go about it. If confrontation is the goal, you better damn well have the support, and Occupy Oakland doesn’t have it. If confrontation is your goal, you need to have allies in law enforcement, the local government, local businesses, the military, and of course, the general public. It needs to be in the thousands, not hundreds. It needs to be fucking overwhelming, if confrontation is the goal. Otherwise it alienates almost everyone. Only the bonehead anarchists are left. The people that didn’t give a fuck before, and don’t give a fuck now, are left. These are not the people you want leading a revolution. They are guaranteed to screw it up, because, as I said, they are boneheads. They are courting violence. That only works at the tipping point of revolution, when you have overwhelming support which the government and military cannot successfully resist. Guys????? You aren’t even remotely close to even the beginning of such a movement. So stop the violence, it is getting you nowhere fast. The worst thing Occupy Oakland did yesterday had to be the invasion of City Hall, where they burned an American flag (great PR move, boneheads!), and trashed an exhibit of children’s art (what point did that serve?). This is precisely the direction Occupy Oakland should avoid, at all costs, lest they lose even more support. What were these people thinking? I can sympathize, being unemployed and dangling into the darkness of my own fears, but I am not ready to throw in my lot with a lot of Robespierre wannabes. The ultimate result is not pretty, because the American people are not quite ready for revolution. They won’t back you, and it might even push them into the arms of Romney or Gingrich. We need to find a better way.

The original focus of Occupy Wall Street was excellent. They wanted to educate Americans regarding the ridiculous gulf between rich and poor in this country. And not just that, but recognizing the consequences of this gulf. We can’t all be filthy rich, but we can be filthy. And this is what is happening. Unless there is a fundamental shift in priorities, and the rich recognize their obligation to turn this economy around, things are going to get a lot worse for everyone. But we need to wake up!! When I see people obsessing over Kim Kardashian, or who is going to win an Oscar, or some twitter bullshit, it tells me we are out of touch. I don’t think the American people in general realize just how fucked up things really are. The super rich of this country have blatantly ripped off the rest of us, and I don’t think that has sinked in quite yet. Although it may only be bikini underwear, the Emperor seems to still be wearing clothes. He’s naked, people!! He really is! Wake up!

Here’s some sobering video of yesterday’s events in Oakland

So what am I trying to say here? Well, first off, I am truly impressed at the degree of organization, commitment, and courage show by Occupy Oakland. It would be a shame to squander all that because of a minority of boneheads.  I think breaking the law is a bad idea. Unless you have a significant proportion of the police on your side, you are fighting a losing battle. It occurs to me that the boneheads want blood, they want casualties, because that might produce a sympathetic backlash in the public, supporting the movement. But at this stage, it would most likely lead to deadly polarization throughout the country. Violent language could lead to actual violence. I lived through a period of polarization with violence just under the surface during the early days of the counterculture. As I pointed out before, a tipping point must be reached before you throw your bodies on the barricades. We need to be finding ways of networking with government, businesses, and just regular folks, to forge a true mass movement, that the rich fuckers cannot ignore. Free enterprise is not the enemy. The grotesque abuse of free enterprise, which isn’t ‘free’ enterprise at all, is the enemy. These ultra rich bastards have raped the free enterprise system and left it to die in a ditch. Small business owners could be, and should be allies of the Occupy movement. Why not adopt a strategy in which the owners of vacant buildings invite Occupy Oakland to occupy their buildings? It could happen with the right attitude. But I guess that isn’t dramatic enough for the dumb asses that have poisoned this movement.  Trust me, if you let the anarchists have their way, it will fuck everything up in ways you cannot imagine. We’re talking anarchy!! Duh!!! Look the word up in the dictionary! It doesn’t mean social justice, it means no government at all, everyone doing whatever they fucking want to do. Anarchy lasts for about a week, if it’s lucky, then it degenerates into a vicious authoritarianism. Whoever has the guns, gets to make the rules. And they won’t be fun rules, folks! Wise up! Wake up!!

The Penis

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I think the penis is a much maligned organ. And unfairly. Poor guy. Rapists and child molesters have given the penis a bad reputation. But their penises didn’t commit those crimes, their brains did, or their minds, whatever… you get the point. The penis is innocent. It has a couple of things it is supposed to do. He does the first thing pretty darn well. I’m sure a lot of women would love to have a penis just for the convenience. The vagina? poor design! I’m sorry, but it’s true. At least when you’re talking about this urinary function. It isn’t the penis fault that guys pee in doorways, showers, and sinks. It’s the dolt using the penis that’s at fault. If a drunk drives a Mercedes into a ditch, do you blame the exquisitely designed automobile? I think not!

Penises are not ugly. Well…..they can be, but mine isn’t. I don’t know about other guys (almost typed gays, gotta watch those typos on a story like this!). I don’t want to know, ok? Other guys penises are….let’s just move on, all right? We have all these cultural biases and you know that men are responsible for most of them. We really ought to celebrate our genitals. Don’t you think? I don’t mean pornography, because that just perpetuates the nonsense. At least, the way most of it is done. I realize that by saying this, I have lost virtually all of the male readers. If I’m talking about some touchy-feely new age approach to the penis, they want nothing to do with it. As far as they are concerned, touchy-feely and penis don’t belong in the same sentence. And that’s fine. Really. I don’t want my penis to be on speaking terms with other penises. As you can see, although I started this post thinking I would set the record straight on the penis. You got that? Straight. I want to make it straight! Just in case some readers may have other ideas. Boy am I hung up? Hey! there’s a slogan! Better hung than hung up? Huh? Somebody call Larry Flynt. It is so tempting to say that this post is just more of Newt Gingrich’s hack into my blog (see newt5087 the previous post), but no this is my attempt to say something worthwhile about the penis. So get on with it then!!

Ok I admit I’m dithering. Let me get to the point, I feel we should feel good about our bodies. We should not treat our genitalia badly. After all, if it weren’t for the penis and the vagina, where would we be? But people get silly, stupid, weird, and uncomfortably silent when it comes to the penis. (and the vagina, but that’s another post, I’m having a hard enough time with the penis. That is such an opportunity for a joke, but I’ll let it pass). I think we need to come to terms with our penis neurosis. I think if we could just reach a point where a penis is as ordinary as a handshake, that would be a good start. Which gives me an idea, nah! too unsanitary! It would never catch on, not even in the Castro. There have been plenty of guys walking around with their junk there for all to see. It doesn’t seem to help improve our attitudes. People still regard the penis as a personal insult. I mean, the slang, junk? that tells you how much the penis is valued. I bet a lot of guys are embarrassed when it comes to their package. (much better slang) Women don’t make things any easier. There isn’t a woman that I know of that likes the penis, oh, they may like some things about it, but not as an object of contemplation. (How do I come up with these things?) And that’s what men need. They need a woman, well…not just any woman, not their mother or sister, or…you know what I mean, a woman they are attracted to, she needs to be beautiful, smart, have a lot of money, doesn’t talk too much,,,,but I am getting way off track here, aren’t I? If she could just say something nice about it. It has to be sincere, and “It’s nice.” doesn’t cut it. Nobody wants a ‘nice’ penis.

You know what? I think the penis is a problem I am not going to solve. Maybe I just don’t have the….Oh! that reminds me! Balls! Everybody likes balls! He’s got balls! It’s a good thing! Women want to have them. But actually, isn’t that more of a conceptual thing? I mean, when you consider the actual set of testicles in question, it’s a different story isn’t it? Testicles are so weird and perplexing to me that I would really need to write about them another time. And the penis, I sold you short little guy. Wait! I meant to say big guy, and I sold you long! What? Never mind. You see how it is. It is impossible to write about these things. I have failed. If my penis could withdraw inside my body in shame, it would. I let it down. I was going to fight for it’s right to party! But it got all weird, and I couldn’t get my facts straight. Sorry, penis. Maybe next time.

Sorry folks, no pictures, you know how it is!

Newt5087

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newt5087

I hacked onto this blog. It wasn’t hard. No firewalls, no security, it was pathetically easy! Russell Miller should consider himself lucky. I could have been some Nigerian terrorist, But I may not have long, so to the point. I have been getting a lot of flack lately, especially from that left-wing bastard Jon Stewart, about my plan to establish a moon base by the end of my second term. I think it is a groovy idea! Just think of the possibilities! My friend, Donald Trump, likes it too. He’d build there! Wouldn’t you like to live on the moon? Tax free!! Then, vote for me, you idiot! Nobody else is going to have this kind of genius. I mean, let’s face it, I am smarter than you. So when I say vote for me, you should take my advice. You elect me, and we will see who has the last laugh.

I have dreamed of a lunar city since I was a kid. I remember this pulp science fiction magazine I had, and the cool looking picture on the cover. Lunar City! I wanted to live there when I grew up! All you need is a dome! That’s not so hard! How do you like my little Photoshop collage? I am so happy to be on that cover! Actually, I confess, I used Gimp. It’s free and I’m cheap ok? It’s not like I want to do stuff like this all the time, I have a campaign you know? But it is pretty cool. Did you notice how I…Ok Ok I’ll move on!!! Did you know that I am also a writer? Well I am!! I wrote a little pulp novel called City On The Moon, and that’s me on the cover, along with my wife at the time. I didn’t bother to give her a helmet. Let her die a sudden death, I say. Just kidding!! Jeez! I’d never do that to my wife. I’m just having a little fun. What was that? ….You don’t think I really wrote that book? It looks phony to you? So prove it, if you are such an expert. Picky picky picky. You remind me of that little miss prissy Mitt Romney. I’m just having some fun, alright? This Gimp is kinda fun, I think I’ll do some stuff with me in the oval office, you know, maybe a scene when me and Vladimir Putin standing in the Volga, holding up our fish. Of course, mine is bigger! When I become Presi

Ok!! This is Russell Miller. I don’t know for sure how Newt Gingrich managed to hack into this blog. I should never have opened that attachment (but I could have a fourteen inch penis? I had to check it out). It turned out to be a bunch of crap, but that was probably how Gingrich pulled it off. Sneaky bastard. Frankly, I use Gimp too, and I think I could have done a better job! But I’ll leave his stuff here so you can check it all out. It is pretty funny. Pathetic, but pretty funny.

me outside my lunar city!

My book. Gee, my wife looks like she's having trouble breathing. tee hee

Frank

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Just when I thought I couldn’t come up with anything to write other than the depressing crap I posted earlier this evening, I came across in my infinite supply of images in iPhoto, some great examples of the underground cartoons of Jim Woodring. These cartoons mostly concern Frank. It is hard to determine just what sort of animal Frank is. Is he a cat? Is he a beaver? Is he a, I don’t know, a chipmunk, maybe? What is even more fascinating however, is the world that Frank inhabits. It consists of these structures which look like brightly colored kid’s toys. There is a sort of pigman, and other strange denizens in Woodring’s universe.

I first came across Frank at Virgin Records. Remember that place? There was a damaged hardback book of Woodring’s drawings. Woodring. It reminds me of rotting wood filled with various creepy insects, which is similar in some ways to what he depicts. This is a subconscious realm which always gets my imagination going. There is never any dialogue, just a silent pantomime with, I suppose, some sort of moral. I love the colors, although some of his better work is black and white. It deals with harsh realities in a comical manner, much like fairy tales. Jim Woodring could be said to be creating children’s books for adults, or perhaps he is the shadow side of Walt Disney. Check out his website http://www.jimwoodring.com/. I warn you. You will get hooked!