Growing older is no picnic. Not that life is a picnic when you are younger, either. But, for sure, life is no picnic when you are old. It is aggravating. One of the most aggravating parts of it is the declining libido. Sexuality used to play such an important part in my life. Not just the acts themselves, but just the thought of it, the glorious fantasy of it. It informed your senses, making what you saw more vivid and exciting, making music a magical alchemy. Sex set your body ablaze, and your mind was filled with unlimited possibilities. You felt immortal. Sex is about so much more than procreation, or recreation. It lies at the core of life. Which is why it is so upsetting when you feel it slipping away. When you grow older, you get to witness parts of you dying. It is like a slow, arduous, torture, in which your body and your mind are torn asunder. And you get to watch. Viewed from that perspective, Alzheimer’s is a blessing. But enough cheery, good news!! Let’s get down to brass tacks.
We older men need sex more than younger men. I mean, the slightest thing will give them an erection that will last all day! But we older men? An entire harem of dancing girls might be able to……….nope! almost had it! Something has to be done about this! Forget the national debt, the tensions in the gulf. Let’s have some tensions in the groin, for a change. Viagra is a joke, which if it takes more than four hours to go away, leaves you in stitches. (That was bad, I know. My jokes would be better if I were having sex!) In this modern hi-tech world of tomorrow, why can’t we bring sex to those who really need it. And no, I don’t mean teenagers. Those greedy guts would grab all of it if they could! Save some for the geezers! I say.
I know this is controversial, but sex really is the best medicine for an older guy. It improves his self esteem. It undoubtedly extends his life. I know! I know! Cardiologists would worry about an increase in heart attacks and strokes, but we can approach this thing slowly, you know, when you take medicine you don’t swallow the whole jar! Just a bit at a time until we get the whole enchilada. Or perhaps I should use a different metaphor. Caregivers. Their jobs would become a lot more interesting. Is there anything else I can do for you, sir? You betcha!
Of course, what I propose would be perfectly ethical, and in accordance with all federal, state…blah blah, you get the drift. But, seriously, this is a need. All of our Presidents have talked about the value of volunteering your time to fulfill a national need. Step right up! Do your part for our older citizens! I’m not leaving older women out, either. They need this too! Which leads me to porno. Isn’t that where it all usually ends up? Well…maybe it’s just me. But porno is sooooo boring nowadays, especially for older people. Who wants to watch a couple of beautiful young people have sex? It’s depressing. Now if they could show some older folks in there…. Gross? you say? Well that is just ageism! If it is such a problem, maybe they could do something with the lighting. My point is. older men fantasize about having sex with young women (not girls, mind you, legal age women), and older women fantasize about having sex with young men. So let’s have some of that! I would even be willing to donate my time gratis! No need to pay me, it’s all for the next sexual revolution. There is possibly a market for porno involving two older people. Could be. Annie Sprinkle would watch it. I could see a market. I admit I would have to get over a few prejudices. Yes, I admit that I am a hypocrite! I am prejudiced against older people and I am an older person myself. But only when it comes to sex. I’m willing to be educated on this matter, provided I get to wear a blindfold. (just kidding, please no hate mail).
But I’m boring you, I can tell. Too bad that on this blog you can’t hit the fast forward to the good parts. I guess after all is said and done, I just want to get laid. If it takes a lengthy polemic about the psychological ramifications of aging upon the libido, I’m up for it! or not quite up for it, that’s just the problem. So what do you say, dear horny readers? Are you ready to jump on this bandwagon provided you don’t have to jump too high? Let’s hear it for more sex for the old. They are going to be getting a lot less social security so let’s give them more sex, it’s only fair! Mitt Romney should get behind this. I bet he’d get the AARP vote. I mean, it’s a better pitch than anything else he’s got going.
Sooo….who is willing to fund this worthy little project? As always, open to your suggestions.
And, followers? Please keep following. Please.