Hello. I am Bruce Wayne, and I wanted to take this time to tell you what I know about Mitt Romney. He isn’t the nice guy you see on television every night. He is actually an evil mastermind! It is now common knowledge that Mitt Romney was behind Bain. BAIN!! The arch criminal who almost defeated Batman! I would have confronted Romney about this connection myself if I hadn’t had an unforseen accident and been laid in the hospital for over a year. Mitt Romney almost managed to gain control of Gotham City, and now he has the unmitigated gall to run for President. I think I can speak for the caped crusader when I say that Mitt Romney belongs in the Big House instead of the White House.
What really gets to me is how smug Mitt Romney is about the whole Bain business. He freely admits it! He doesn’t think Bain did anything wrong! He seems to think that it is a rich man’s privilege to hire and train an assassin. He really believed he could defeat Batman, and thanks to Bain, he almost did. We have heard from the pundits and the comics, now we need to hear from the comic book, which is where Batman and I reside. As soon as we heard that Romney ‘owned’ Bain, we knew we had to speak out. I know Batman has a lot of fans in your world and you wouldn’t want Mitt Romney, who tried to have Batman killed, win the Republican nomination. So join with Batman and I to get the word out. A vote for Mitt is a vote for Bain! Thanks to you, and to Russell Miller for giving me the opportunity to post on his blog.
Meanwhile my good friends at the Daily Planet are working on an expose. They believe Newt Gingrich may…well, we had better let them publish that when the time comes. But have no fear, Newt can never defeat Superman!