Well, now I have my cranky pants back on, lest anybody out there was beginning to take a liking to me. I have to admit playing the grumpy old cuss always makes me laugh. I need a few laughs right now. What am I cranky about this time? The stupid internet, that field of mind-numbing banality called Facebook. It is where I spend my time, and it has it’s limitations. You can’t get love from the internet. I have tried. Come on, admit it! You have too. It is ridiculous isn’t it? How desperate is that? That is why people get so addicted and emotionally caught up in their blogs or their status updates, or tweets. Has it come to this? Is this our love life? Is this where we look for validation? I guess so. I have spent many years, hell, decades being painfully lonely. I didn’t realize it all that much at the time, but after getting into this whole Big Con 2.0, I recognize how much I value human contact. Weird that a machine, a cold uncaring bunch of fucking electrons coursing down a wire could mean so much. But it does. Why does it make me grumpy? Because as you may have guessed from Big Con 2.0, I think it is a Con. A big Con.
The actual purpose of Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr and on and on, is Money. Of course you aren’t surprised by that, but you try not to think about it. It is about how we can sell each other a bunch of crap we don’t need. Why corporate America would want to barrage a penniless population with ads is beyond me. Who is buying all this stuff? Who has the money to spare? I don’t, and I suspect I am far from being the only one. Our corporate culture is what made Facebook rich. We are a goldmine of information for advertisers. Do you have any idea how many Viagra ads I have been bombarded with because I say fuck on my blog? Tons. (ok, I just made that up.) But that is how it works. It is beyond annoying. It is amazing to me that advertisers have never figured out that being annoying doesn’t sell their product. It wouldn’t be so bad, except that we are given the illusion that a real, meaningful connection is being made, when in reality it is about product. That is one of the appeals of Socialism, it takes money out of the picture, and replaces it with contempt, and a begrudging and enforced compassion. Wait, that came out wrong. Let me think! Nope. That’s right. Maybe Socialism sucks as well.
But I have just got to say that when I see Mark Zuckerberg on a video or tv, he seems to be from some other world. I am not entirely sure he is human. If there were an alien invasion, I think it might take the form of something like Facebook. This is how the alien horde is learning about human beings. We won’t be able to resist those swell alien recipes for blueberry crumbcake. But, seriously, the guy doesn’t blink! Anyhow, it gives me the creeps. I think the internet, blogs, and Facebook, Twitter, etc. have great potential to bring us together in a way that could enable all of us to partake of this capitalist paradise. We are in this together. If the unwashed millions go down, the well scrubbed wealthy won’t be far behind.
So I appeal to the self-interest of all you self interested people out there. You are comfortable in your cocoon, absorbed in your personal media while surrounded by a sea of hopelessness. Very little stands between you and that sea. You could join the legion of disgruntled souls like me very easily. Just lose your job, get caught up in horrendous credit card debt, and you won’t give a damn about Josh’s status update, or Brittany’s last tweet. OMG You will be kicking the trash cans and blaming the pigeons for your fate.