This is a quick post about how my heart goes out to all the people I have encountered by way of this blog. So much pain. It overwhelms me. Actually this realization hit me first when I checked out Margaret Cho’s blog, at margaretcho.com. Her post regarding her reactions to Valentine’s Day made me sad, and caused me to reflect on my own childhood and adult pain. Her blog inspired my own, and I strongly recommend it. She is so much more than a comedian. Anyhow, as much as I try to keep things light, even bringing in Peanuts (Peanuts isn’t necessarily all that light), I still head for the deep waters. I can’t anesthetize myself against all the pain I read about, all across the internet. I haven’t yet developed stigmata, but it is early yet. I can relate to the pain, the anger, the insanity, the hopelessness, the humor, all of it. I contain all of you, whatever you may believe or feel. This is not a choice I make. It is simply a fact. We are each other.
I wanted to express just how overwhelmed I am by how many people are just like me. They have the same desires, fears, and everyone wants to know they are not alone. And yet, ironically, reading other people’s blogs just leaves me feeling even more alone. Why is that? Because I am sitting here physically alone typing away, and there you are physically removed from me. We are one and we are very separate at the same time. Perhaps there is a way for everyone to be together in a way that has never been tried before?
So what am I getting at? and no I have not been smoking pot. My thing lately has been trying to get past my mind and into my soul, or whatever that is that lies past the mind, To speak directly from myself and not my ego. I mean I can bullshit as well as anyone, and do, but lately I have wanted to try to reach out in a different way. In a way that enables us to truly empower each other, perhaps to inhabit each other, even be one another. Sounds pretty sexual, doesn’t it? Ok, So maybe I am just experiencing a kind of spiritual horniness. Now there is a church I can happily attend! But seriously, there is an opportunity here. I am not sure what that opportunity is. I have difficulty finding the words to express precisely what I wish to say. There is so much need for love and so much pain. This is such a volatile time, full of opportunity, yes, but also danger. Life is cheap, as egos are threatened, and paradigms collapse.
I am here for you, dear reader, for whatever that means. I have the sense that something is happening throughout the world that is larger than us, and it propels us forward into something we cannot fathom as yet. This fills me with ecstasy at times, and at times it fills me with dread.