Ok, so after posting some really dreadful poetry, I thought I should post something better. I am in love and I am uncertain what I am in love with. Perhaps it is myself. I am filled with such love that I cannot settle down. My life is filled with an unaccountable urgency, and yet there is nothing whatsoever I can do. I can write. That is all. But rather than focus on that, I prefer to tell the real truth, something other than the dark and dismal world I become more acquainted with each day. There is another truth, my truth.
My truth describes a better place. We will not and cannot be defeated, none of us can die. We occupy a paradise beyond our sight, and have all the time in the world to set things right. This is how it feels deep inside, although it flies in the face of reason. I am afraid of the future and my own death, and yet this certainty remains. I am you, as you are I. All else is illusory. That unbearable love I feel is the love of all for all. It is how this universe feels from the inside as it is still being created, with each moment. This is who we actually are. But of course the self I know so intimately, who worries about his fate isn’t consoled by this, nor should he be. This is how it is, no matter what is written or said. I cannot account for this certainty. I make no claims to it’s veracity. It is simply my Truth.
However,it does intrigue me that my Truth coincides with much of what I’ve read, from Hindu and Buddhist sources. But here’s the thing, I felt and thought these things before I read those books. I write these things to comfort myself, I’m sure. Because, as I draw nearer to death, I am anxious to know the truth, and I desperately want to feel some sort of connection with my fellow humans. As I said before, sometimes it is almost too much to bear. I wish I could, through my own magic, my own truth, transform this world, just as I would have my love heal it.
This is my Truth
Written from within the Darkness