You know what I think? I think we should just get over it! Over what you say? Sex. I am so sick of it! Sex alla time ever day! I doe know. Sorry about the accent, but for some reason that just popped out of me. But sex. Why don’t we just get it out of our system. Then we can attend to the really important matters, like which combination of breakfast cereals do I want to eat this morning. So allow me to make a proposal.
Let’s all go bottomless. What do you think? I mean naked is a bit impractical, and topless is too in-your-face, you cannot avoid it. But bottomless is quite the deal. You can ignore it if you just remember not to look down. Seriously though, who is going to do that? We will be checking each other out. It’s only natural. Our curiosity would be satisfied for the most part. Men could still wonder about those breasts. And women have been short changed for too many years, now they would get the full package. Sounds fair to me. Unsanitary? Not really. The people that go on about that old canard are just afraid of sex. They think it is yucky. Ew! get that away from me! Bodily fluids are good for you. Animals understand this. Why can’t we?
I mean in this age of tattoos and body adornment, don’t you think it is a shame to cover our wonderful works of art? Show it off! Oh, nice vagina bracelet you have there! Oh thank you, and your cock ring is awesome! It’s an ice breaker!, a conversation starter. Given the overwhelming preponderance of porn on the internet today, nobody is going to be shocked by this. I mean, let’s be honest. When newscasters joke that they aren’t wearing pants, they really won’t be wearing pants! Won’t this make the delivery of news a lot more interesting?
I like my idea. And I think you do too. You may not admit it publicly, but inside you’re saying, “I’d vote for that!” So let’s do it!
Hold on! Hold on! I can hear some of you saying, you realize, of course, that all of the people we would never ever in a million years want to see bottomless, would go bottomless. Have you ever been to a nude beach? Who do you see there? One hint. You don’t see Jessica Alba. You see all the people you would rather not see naked. So how is this any different?
Excellent point! And if we follow through with this proposal I will be able to see your point even better! I recognize that there will have to be sacrifices. You can’t restrict the bottomlessness to certain people that happen to turn you on. It has to be available to everyone. But think about it! The thrill of seeing those few just might be worth the aggravation of all the rest. Besides, think of the boost to self-esteem. You’re walking along feeling a bit glum and somebody says, “that is an awesome penis you’ve got there!” It brightens up your whole day! I think I have made a good case for it, but naturally (get it? naturally!) I welcome your comments, Just put them down below. (I know how much you like to put things down below, if you get my drift) And remember! It’s all in good fun!