The Mega Lottery is up to $241 million and I am determined to win. Of course it doesn’t make any difference how determined I am, either I am lucky or I’m not. Still. I dream. We all do. Those of us that live on the margins. I didn’t pay my rent for March, and I’m sure I won’t be able to pay rent for April. I will be having to fight eviction, probably unsuccessfully. I could lose everything very very soon. So the Lottery feels like a miracle that has to happen. This is the curse of the Lotto, and it plagues the poor more than anyone else. Who do you see buying lottery tickets with their final few dollars? The poor. It is a deadly chimera, producing a deep depression which can only be dispelled by buying even more lottery tickets, fueling that dream of sudden riches. It is very easy to get hooked. I don’t spend a huge amount on the lottery, never more than $10 a week and that is probably too much. The odds of winning are increased by such a microscopic amount by buying more than one ticket that it is hardly worth it, but it feels like you have a better chance. I would need to buy hundreds of thousands of tickets to really affect the odds.
Something has got to happen to turn things around for me, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will. Maybe this is a lesson I need to learn, to lose absolutely everything and start from ground zero. Maybe.
I prefer to think that miracles can happen, if not the lottery, then a new job. I have to take each day as it comes and wish for the best just to keep from sinking into despair. My blogging helps me see clearly and focus on other concerns. If I won the lottery, it wouldn’t need to be $214 million, it could be $1 million, or even $250,000. Just enough to not have to worry. Enough to allow me to do the things I long to do. I would like to be able to help out my friends who could certainly use a windfall, and I’d like to send money to relatives as well. I usually enjoy daydreaming about winning the lottery, but not today. I lost yet again, and I know I will continue to lose. I recognize the tiny tiny possibility of winning something, and that keeps me playing, but unenthusiastically. Then I read in the paper about billionaires. What is the point of being a billionaire? Unless you are using that wealth to make a positive impact on the world, it is a sinful waste of resources. The disparity between the have and have-not’s is absolutely sickening. The worst part of it is how oblivious many people are to this. They enjoy their meager wealth, and dream of having even more, and don’t recognize that this disparity can’t last. I dread the economic disaster which looms ahead. It may not happen in just a few years, but it is inevitable. The present situation cannot be sustained. The collapse may happen after I’m gone. I hope so, because it would not be fun to live through. If I were to win the lottery I had better be prepared to share it generously or I would ultimately have it taken from me. Times are going to be rough for the rich in the decades ahead. That is the prediction of a nobody, a soon to be homeless nameless statistic. I hope with all my heart that I am wrong about all of this!
Lady Luck. You are a harsh mistress.