Happiness Makes Me Horny

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Happiness makes me horny. Should I be ashamed or embarrassed? Should I recognize that there are some things that are not shared in polite company? If I have the right feel for the sort of people that enjoy my blog, I would guess you would respond to such questions with a resounding No!

But many people get funny around sexuality, and I mean funny weird not funny haha. That is because most of us are uncomfortable with sexuality, especially our own. We both enjoy it and don’t. We seek it and censor it. We pretend we don’t indulge in it. Who me? I’m not an animal! I don’t do such things! I am a spiritual being. Of course it does no good to deny sexuality. It rears it’s ugly or beautiful head in spite of our best efforts. The solution lies in how you handle it, if you will pardon the expression.

But have you noticed how you are rarely if ever horny when you are depressed? No. Horniness rides the wave of joy. Sex is about happiness. When things are going well abstinence loses it’s appeal. You want to partake of all the physical pleasures while you still can. But because horniness makes a lot of people very nervous, you don’t share your newfound enthusiasm for the carnal knowledge. You keep it clean, and tell everyone that your happiness has renewed your avid interest in stamp collecting. You learn to keep your funkiness to yourself. Personally I think this is stupid. Actually it is worse than stupid. The denial and suppression of sexuality leads to perversion and ultimately violence. Strange things grow in the dark, which is why I would like to bring sex into the light.

The misguided way we think about sex and the even more misguided way we actually behave sexually has led to many tragedies. I would love to help bring this horrible trend, centuries in the making, to a stop. Happiness makes me horny, but it also makes me think about my horniness. I resent the shame which accompanies horniness. It is a perversion of sexuality. You see, perversion is all about hating yourself. Shame is self-hatred. Perversion thrives on shame. The more ashamed you are the more likely you are to reinforce that shame with still more shame, until it is the shame that turns you on. That is when you realize you have taken a stroll down a very dark and dingy street. It is hard to make your way back, when the culture in which you are immersed reinforces this vicious cycle. When you reach a point in which unhappiness makes you horny, you are in sad shape indeed.

I don’t pretend to know the answers to this dilemma. I do know the costs of allowing it to continue. Rape. Murder. Child Molestation. Lives ruined because of misguided sexuality. What family exists that does not have at least one shameful secret lingering around in the closet somewhere? Sex mishandled breeds monsters. What to do? Well let’s talk about it for starters. Let’s bring it into the light. When I look out at the world and see the consequences of our sex-obsessed yet sex-denied culture, in which we are encouraged to be sexual only to be stigmatized by it, it seems hopeless, and I feel really depressed. You want to talk about nasty? Our culture is nasty, and not in the way you may think. Nasty in it’s approach/avoidance insanity surrounding sexuality.

The ideas I have are outrageous. They are so outrageous I have to disguise them as satire. That is because I believe we really need to rethink and refeel how we approach sexuality. The cost is too great for us to continue down the same old road. We need to learn to celebrate sexuality and that means celebrating all of it. We need to find joy in our bodies, however they may be. Shame is not allowed. Shame lies in intent. It is not an inherent part of sexuality. Celebrating your body and other’s bodies and the wonderful way sex makes all of us feel when it is not ruined by our culture, is an urgent need. I can see that I have gotten far too serious for what was intended as a fun, tongue-in-cheek post. But the truth is, I cannot just smirk and shove the ugly truth about sexuality under the proverbial rug any longer. The ugly truth is that our view of sex is so distorted that it is criminal, and it is destroying our delight in just being alive. Sex lies at the heart of being alive. It is what brought us into being, and should be one of our highest priorities. You know what? I don’t feel horny any more. This post has brought me down. Satisfied? Now all I want to know about are the specials at Safeway. I can get mixed vegetables two for one? Excellent. Can’t get too many veggies!

Sex? I am way too old for that. Sex is for young people. Good looking people. Old people read good books and take their dogs for a walk. I watch all the stupid ads just like you do. I know what old people do with their lives. But I suspect that later, when I feel another surge of happiness, I will be horny again. I look forward to that. Horniness is a good thing. It is all in how you handle it, you see.

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