Sexual Cowardice


It is curious that on the same morning I posted what I think is a very bold but beautiful poem which successfully joins my poetic and horny selves, there was the news report on Yahoo about the conviction of Sandusky for child molestation. I still assert, with gusto I might add, that sex is not the problem. We need more sex, not less, but it needs to be the right kind of sex. Respectful, joyful, empowering sex, which reminds us of who we truly are, not sex as a weapon, sex as a product, sex as sin.

Once again, sex in all of it’s problematic power, is dealt a setback. The problem here was cowardice. Sandusky lacked the courage to put himself on the line and find sex in a responsible way. Or maybe it wasn’t really about sex at all, but power. Sex was a way for him to feel powerful, having total control over these boy’s lives, possessing their bodies to use as he might. He knew that if he pulled that crap on any adult male he would end up in the hospital, so he preyed on kids. Because he could. Infected with too heavy a dose of freedom, he thought he do whatever he wanted. The normal rules did not apply to him. This kind of thinking lies at the heart of any crime.

But let’s not let this be an indictment of sexual freedom. Those of us who champion a more liberal view of sex are not child molesters. Let’s not push sexual behavior into the darkness. Children need to be educated about sex in a responsible way, a truthful way, and we should leave religion out of it. It angers me to no end when yet another asshole takes something beautiful and ruins it. Thinking only of himself, and too much of a coward to do what he needed to satisfy his needs, in a responsible way. Too afraid of rejection. Why risk rejection when you can force yourself on someone weaker than you? People in positions of power who use that position to dominate and hurt others deserve what they get. But our society tends to paint all sexual hedonists as harmful perverts, potential child abusers or rapists and that simply isn’t the case. Stigmatizing sex isn’t the answer. Because it is almost impossible to be honest and straightforward sexually in our society, it leads to all kinds of perversions. I suspect it is worse than we know. I detect an ugly, aggressive undertone in today’s sexual culture. We are intolerate of differences and very quick to condemn. We seriously need to chill out on this subject. Ironically, chilling out will actually help to reduce sex crimes, not encourage them. It is a repressive, uptight society that is terrified of sex that generates sex crimes. Why? Because sex criminals get off on the wrongness of it. For them it is an aggressive act, and acting out of their hatred of all those who condemn them for their sexuality. It is an expression of the rage felt by those who are terminally rejected, despised by everyone. They can only get sex if they pay for it, and even that becomes a dismal experience for all concerned. This atmosphere generates sex crimes.

I know that my feeble attempts to inject some humor and honesty into this realm will not solve these problems. No potential child molester or rapist is going to listen to what I have to say. But if any of you guys think I am a kindred spirit you couldn’t be more mistaken. I have pity for your condition. You need to stop what you are doing and seek therapy. I support your incarceration. It is deserved. When I champion sexual freedom I do not mean that kind of sexual freedom.

I know this is a difficult subject. It is why I write about it. I seek some resolutions for myself as well as for the world. I am not surprised by the wall of silence which greets my sexual posts. But even if no one whatsoever pays attention to my blog, that would be fine. I am ultimately writing this blog for myself. If it is of benefit to you that is a welcome bonus. Don’t worry. I have a lot to say about a lot of things which have nothing whatsoever to do with sex. It has been my preoccupation of the past week or so, and that too will pass. I just hope that my openness and daring in sharing my sexual fantasies and poetry encourages others to do the same. Don’t allow your lust to gather dust in some dank, dark corner of your mind. Lust is universal, and it pushes us onward whether we are up for it or not. We need a genuine sexual revolution. This isn’t really the right time for it, because everyone is afraid. They are too frightened to fuck. They fear the fucker. In many people’s minds a fucker is a dangerous criminal who must not be allowed around their children. We live in a society of sexual cowards, finding their release from images on the internet, and talking as though they are having sex all of the time. They speak of it casually as if they could care less about it. Nobody really cops to actually liking it, instead it is a kind of status symbol. Everyone generally agrees that everyone is fucked. We live in a world of sick puppies, and you can only hope to find the least sick of them to hang with. What a sad commentary that is. We have moved on from metrosexual to nosexual or antisexual.

I will continue to rebel against all of this, although I suspect I am truly a voice in the wilderness when it comes to this subject. I will go back to the heart warming poems with my next post, I promise, but occasionally I just need to be responsibly naughty in order to serve a noble cause. We need to fuck more, not less, and feel good about it!!

3 responses »

  1. I totally agree with the element of fear toward sex in the US. It’s different in other parts of the world. Men are expected to care for children, they are not treated as potential molesters and rapists until they are proven to be such.
    However, I also fear that the element of fear in US culture will only get worse instead of better. It is a method of social control. Our media controls our thoughts, our words and our deeds on many issues through the type of sensationalist reporting that they do. It is a sickness eating away at the very heart of the US and applies not just to sex but every other issue there is in the US.
    Its possible that this IS the right time, because I certainly don’t think we’ll find a better time.

    • I do know that conditions are better elsewhere. I don’t watch television very much at all, or read the crappy magazines that blatantly spread fear so I don’t get the full gist of it. If women had a greater share of the power in the US I think we would have a much more reasonable attitude toward sex, such as figuring out a way to produce sperm without men and dispense with this problematic gender altogether! (Just kidding, I am sounding like an old lesbian.) I appreciate your comment. Let us start this sexual revolution now! We can be in the vanguard. But please not this morning, I’m cranky, my back hurts, and frankly I am sick of the whole subject or any subject. I am sick of myself. To know that at least one person cares enough to comment is very encouraging. I shall carry on then, thank you very much.

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