Category Archives: sex

Sexuality Blessed

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Beneath the tidy proper manners

Hello how are you?

May I fuck you?

Lies urgently hidden away

A secret that sits just under the pants

I want you, you want me

But we search vainly on a cloud covered day

For the sun of sexuality

Blessed

Our one self our one self-contained enclosure

Be it cunt or be it cock

When interlocked

Form a brand new universe

For us

And yet and yet…..

For so many this is not the case

We equate all this with the sharpest pain and most righteous anger

Sexuality cursed and viewed with disdain

Fuck and fucked and cunt and dick become obscene

Weapons of choice in our gender war

Let us be tender

to our wounded genitals

Ask for the best

Sexuality Blessed

Because this is the door

This is the quest

ADDICTION

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ADDICTION

I HATE THAT WORD WITH A PASSION BORN OF MY CONVICTION THAT I CAN PURSUE WHATEVER I WISH, WALK WHATEVER ROAD, WITHOUT FEAR. I AM A FREE MAN.

AND YET ADDICTION EXISTS. HOW DO I KNOW?

BECAUSE WHEN SOMETHING YOU LOVE SO DEARLY SICKENS YOU, WHEN YOU HATE YOURSELF AND WISH YOU COULD PUT THIS THING OUT OF YOUR MIND AND JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING, THEN YOU ARE ADDICTED. IT ISN’T HARD TO FIGURE OUT. IT SIMPLY ISN’T FUN ANYMORE. IT HAS BECOME A CHORE, IF SOMETHING HAS YOU BY THE BALLS IT IS AN ADDICTION. THAT SIMPLE.

WHAT TO DO??? I SAY IT IS A MISTAKE TO TRY TO CRUSH THE ADDICTION UNDERFOOT LIKE AN OBNOXIOUS BUG, BECAUSE ADDICTIONS HAVE AT THEIR CORE A TRUE NEED WHICH SHOULD NOT BE IGNORED, THAT NEED WILL FIND A WAY TO SATISFY ITSELF AND IT IS UP TO YOU TO FIND THE BEST WAY TO SATISFY THAT NEED. FIRST OF ALL YOU HAVE TO BE BRUTALLY HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND FEEL THE PAIN AND THE HURT, ALL THAT STUFF THAT DRIVES YOU INSANE, BECAUSE ADDICTION WORKS AS A ANESTHETIC, A SOOTHING SALVE TO CALM THOSE TURBULENT EMOTIONS WHICH THREATEN TO TEAR YOU APART. ANY ATTEMPT TO DESTROY AN ADDICTION BY BRUTE FORCE IS RISKY BECAUSE IT CAN SERIOUSLY BACKFIRE AND LEAVE YOU WORSE OFF THAN BEFORE.

YOU CAN SEE WHAT A BULLSHIT ARTIST I AM. I KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS SUBJECT. I KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I UNDERSTAND.

OR DO I?

I AM ADDICTED, BUT I DON’T HAVE TO BE. THIS FLIES IN THE FACE OF EVERYTHING ANY PSYCHOLOGIST WILL TELL YOU. THEY INSIST THAT YEARS OF THERAPY IS THE ONLY ANSWER OR A TWELVE STEP PROGRAM IS THE ONLY WAY TO WHIP AN ADDICTION.

I AM NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH THAT. I AM ALSO NOT GOING TO ARGUE AGAINST THOSE WHO BELIEVE I CAN ONLY DEFEAT ADDICTION WITH THE POWER OF CHRIST. I AM ONLY SAYING THIS:

I AM ON A JOURNEY UNIQUE TO MYSELF AND ALL THE CHOICES I MAKE ARE MY OWN, I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEM. I TAKE ADDICTION AND I STAND IT ON IT’S HEAD. I TRANSMUTE IT INTO SOMETHING ELSE. AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH AND A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THINGS WORK. I AM CONDUCTING AN ONGOING EXPERIMENT WITH MYSELF AS THE GUINEA PIG. I CHOOSE TO STARE ADDICTION IN THE FACE AND DISCOVER IT’S TRUE NATURE. I AM BIGGER THAN ANY ADDICTION. I AM STRONGER. I PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO MYSELF AND SOMETIMES THAT IS A VERY PAINFUL THING TO DO, I MAY SUCCUMB
I MAY NOT SUCCEED BUT I REFUSE TO BE SHACKLED TO A BELIEF SYSTEM WHICH IS WORSE THAN ANY ADDICTION, AND IS IN FACT ANOTHER FORM OF SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE ADDICTION. I WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN HAVE MY THOUGHTS EMOTIONS AND EVERY ACTION TIGHTLY MONITORED BY A WELL MEANING BUT NEVERTHELESS TYRANNICAL CONTROL SYSTEM

PERHAPS I AM FULL OF SHIT.

IT WOULDN’T BE THE FIRST TIME

BUT IN ANY CASE THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS SUCH AS THEY ARE REGARDING THIS DEMON LABELLED ADDICTON

I LOVE SEX

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I LOVE SEX

IN SPITE OF THE HATRED

THE SELF PITY

I LOVE HOW SEX MAKES ME FEEL REAL

AND COMPLETE

IF THERE IS A PROBLEM

IT LIES SOMEWHERE ELSE

I TELL MYSELF

KNOWING IT MUST BE A LIE

I LOVE SEX STILL

IN SPITE OF THE PAIN AND THE CHILL

I DON’T KNOW WHY

I CANNOT TURN AWAY

IT IS A BITTER POISONOUS PILL

BUT I LOVE SEX ANYWAY

I HATE SEX

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I HATE SEX

I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT

ANY ENJOYMENT I HAD HAS BEEN SPOILED

BY AN ANGRY MOB

CALLED ADDICTION

INSISTING I TAKE THINGS WAY TOO FAR AND THEN SOME

NEVER TAKE A BREAK

THE MOB WANTS MORE

THEY ALWAYS WANT MORE

THEY WANT ME TO MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF ONCE MORE

BECAUSE SEX HAS CRAWLED UP MY ASS AND DIED

I CHOKE ON IT NOW

I’M ALL TIED UP AND EVERYBODY IS STARING

AT MY PITIFUL SITUATION

I HATE SEX

IT’S NO GOOD

I HAD A TIGER BY THE TAIL

BUT IT COULDN’T LAST

IN SPITE OF THE SCARS

I HUNG FAST

NO PLEASURE IN THAT

JUST AN URGENT DESPERATION

TO CATCH A TRAIN THAT HAS ALREADY LEFT THE STATION

I HATE SEX

Hey Hey Hey Hey

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Hey Hey Hey Hey

Whoa Oh

Ain’t gonna worry today

Oh no

I got too much to smile about

I see you out there in your shorty short shorts

And I just got to work up the nerve to say

Hey Hey Hey Hey

Whoa Oh

I think you just made my day

Baby

Hey Hey Hey Hey

The world is shining oh so bright

Makes me want to jump up high with delight

Whatever was wrong

Feels right

I ain’t gonna worry

Hey hey

Alright

I wish I could describe this light

If only I could swallow it

I wish that I could bottle it

Hey Hey Hey Hey

Whoa Oh

Here comes the end of this poem

But I could just

keep going

I feel so good

Ain’t gonna worry

Ain’t gonna worry

Ain’t gonna worry

My self

Today

a dark dank ancient portal much maligned

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a dark dank ancient portal much maligned

draws me near

i approach with some trepidation

for this is both sacred and profane

this opening into the unspoken words

the unwritten unacknowledged truth

woman lies upon the earth askew

arms akimbo and legs raised high

ready to receive the sacrament

and given centuries of abuse

until she lies here broken and ruined

her temple crumbling

her thoughts seem distant and confused

a dark dank ancient portal much maligned

must be redeemed

we must set forth into this blood stained sea

and restore it’s dignity and purity

for this is our source

this is our home

All Male Zone

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All you women can just butt out

We don’t need you lurking

While we be jerking

This is an all male zone

so get out

I know we got shit for brains

and we only got ourselves to blame

It’s ok with me if we go down in history

Let the chips fall where they may

This is an all male zone

Twist and shout

This is an all male zone

so get out

Who cares what we do

So long as it doesn’t get on you

This is an all male zone

so get out