Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Female Way

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The female way escapes your attention

while you are checking me out

You think you impress

But I must confess

You leave me hanging

Without a clue

What to do about you

But my female way will find a way

To work out the kinks and have you purring like a kitten

You don’t have a prayer without that

For you I remain a puzzle

The female way bemuses and bedazzles

You can’t do without it

So you can stop your stupid dancing and shouting

I won’t go away

So jerk all day

The female way is so much better

and better and better

Oh God!

 

I once knew a man

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I once knew a man

who dabbled in the occult

he stepped on a wire

and died in a fire

I once knew a man

who would quicken his pace

before another thought could escape

I once knew a man

whose face was a puzzle

his life a disgrace

he woke up one morning

and his body was bleeding

no one to blame

no one to chase

I once knew a man

his name wasn’t Charlie

but it should have been

He would stand beside me for hours

With a goofy smile on his face

I once knew a man

that wrestled and yelled out in pain

as the wind twisted his clothes

and he was pelted without mercy

by the rain

Have you felt the wobbly men?

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So have you felt the wobbly men?

Bouncing around the back of your brain

Taking pictures

Leaving trash behind

and building fires

Leaving you with the worst kind of headache

And the probing can drive you insane

They want to help you live your life

In a more responsible way

They say

But they are nothing but a nuisance

I wish they would just go back from where they came

These wobbly gobbly men with no chin

You sit at your desk with a head full of rubber

You dot every i, cross every t

Like some hideous machine

Another sad victim of the wobbly men

They say they want to live, they say they want to be

They say a lot of things that aren’t very smart

They got chewing gum for brains

They found a way in one day

I think it was 1953

And although the party has long been over

These wobbly men refuse to leave

 

Friday 13

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Friday 13 don’t scare me

With it’s phony teeth

and it’s monkey suit

I ride the crest of a silliness

That has lasted all my life

So Friday 13 can come and go

It makes no difference to me

I got my nerve and will never learn

To fear what I cannot see

Friday 13 don’t scare me

I’m not a victim of circumstance

The roll of the dice don’t determine my life

Or keep me up at night

I laugh at the monster in the closet

and the boogie man under the bed

What if they held an election and nobody voted?

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What if they held an election and nobody voted?

And nobody went to work?

What if the gangs stopped killing each other?

What if everyone lost their smirk?

What if Jesus returned and nobody cared?

What if everything were shared?

What if Madonna stopped touring

and meth were a thing of the past?

What then? I ask

Would the birds stop their singing?

Would the phones stop ringing?

Would people stop lying?

Would babies stop their crying?

Would I finally give up my act?

If the server went down

You couldn’t get to town

Blank screens throughout the internet

Emptiness filling the streets

What then? I ask

Would we be afraid?

Would we have a parade?

Would it piss us off?

Or would we just take off our clothes

and relax?

Somebody Told Me

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Somebody told me I should just keep quiet

Pull my socks up and lose my blues magoos

There is no use in upsetting the apple cart

There is nothing anyone can do

Somebody told me to just chill out

Follow the instructions and try not to shout

Go about my business with a smile

Somebody told me I should watch my step

I reveal too much and I tend to insult

I better watch my health

Somebody told me to take long walks

and enjoy the sunny weather

Nobody needs to know about those things

Which haunt your tiki hut

Somebody told me to tuck in my shirt

You better get to work

I do so well, I’m well respected

Keep it up though and you’ll be rejected

Somebody said