Blow Me Away

Blow me away

and place me in an unmarked grave

If it makes you feel a bit better

But as soon as you put one jerk away

Here comes another

You’d be killing people every day

I HATE SEX

I HATE SEX

I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT

ANY ENJOYMENT I HAD HAS BEEN SPOILED

BY AN ANGRY MOB

CALLED ADDICTION

INSISTING I TAKE THINGS WAY TOO FAR AND THEN SOME

NEVER TAKE A BREAK

THE MOB WANTS MORE

THEY ALWAYS WANT MORE

THEY WANT ME TO MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF ONCE MORE

BECAUSE SEX HAS CRAWLED UP MY ASS AND DIED

I CHOKE ON IT NOW

I’M ALL TIED UP AND EVERYBODY IS STARING

AT MY PITIFUL SITUATION

I HATE SEX

IT’S NO GOOD

I HAD A TIGER BY THE TAIL

BUT IT COULDN’T LAST

IN SPITE OF THE SCARS

I HUNG FAST

NO PLEASURE IN THAT

JUST AN URGENT DESPERATION

TO CATCH A TRAIN THAT HAS ALREADY LEFT THE STATION

I HATE SEX

What Now?

Everything is turning in a counterclockwise motion

Tearing me apart at the seams

I need so much to get it together and recapture my dreams

But these things escape me in the vicious undertow

What now? Where may I turn?

Is there a way to rectify this thing

Beyond the tipping point?

I feel confused and nothing seems right

What now? More deadly news?

More shattered dreams?

I can’t read any more of this useless crap

It doesn’t do a thing to get us out of this trap

What Now? Please tell me.

We all need to know what now

But all we hear is sorely lacking

I’m Tired

I’m tired of trying to hold things together

and make amends

I don’t want to care

I wish the world would just leave me alone

I’m tired of having to account for myself

You can all go to hell

I’m tired of having to do the right thing

I am all that I am

I know that isn’t enough

I’m just tired

so will you please just let it go?

Facebook Murders

Just a quick response to a news story I just saw on Yahoo. I posted it to Facebook because Facebook users are precisely the people who should see it. It involved a double murder of a couple who had defriended a woman on Facebook. The article went on to point out that this isn’t the first time this has happened. It sounds ridiculous, but I can completely understand it.

It is frighteningly easy to get carried away by something you read on a screen, be it Facebook, a blog, or an email. It happened to me today. I felt patronized by an email I received. It made me angry. I wasn’t furious, foaming at the mouth and contemplating murder, but I was pissed. I got over it fairly quickly, but only after replying in a rather rude way. It makes me wonder about the usefulness of  internet social media. It is very easy to be intimate and reveal your innermost feelings. That can be good and that can be bad. I have experienced both ends of the spectrum. I enjoy expressing myself online, but I am a notoriously thin skinned individual, which can cause problems. It is way too easy to click “Send”. Then you have second thoughts. Oops! too late!

I have posted about this problem before, sometimes even when I was in the midst of making the very mistakes I warned about. That is how insidious it can be. Feelings get hurt. People get mad. People get defriended. I know how it goes. It is so important to keep in mind that you are in a public space. People form judgements and that can potentially lead to bad things happening. In the case reported by Yahoo, the worst possible consequences ensued. What a useless and unnecessary tragedy!! But it does get me to thinking about people I have pissed off. There could be hundreds of them out there, who never bothered to click Unlike or leave a comment. It is a disturbing thought.

I’m sorry folks!! Please don’t kill me!

And rest assured, I don’t intend to kill anyone, no matter how mad I may get.

But none of this makes me feel a whole lot better. I have considered getting off of Facebook and stopping blogging. It has complicated my life in both good and bad ways. I wouldn’t say I was happier without it, but at least no one knew about my neuroses but me. Sometimes it is a lot more comfortable to be invisible.

I guess all I wanted to say is what I’ve said before, with a little more emphasis. Take a breath when reading anything on a screen, and consider that you can’t see the person. You can’t know the intent just from the words. You can’t hear the voice and the intonation. It could be vicious, or it could be harmless. Very hard to say just from the words on the screen. This is good advice. I am full of it, good advice I mean. Will I follow my own advice? I have a bad track record on that score. But I shall try.

As crazy as a murder over defriending may seem, I suspect the people who committed the murder never saw it coming, and I know the people murdered certainly didn’t! On that creepy, disturbing note, I will continue to use Facebook and continue my blog hoping that I don’t do anything to get myself killed. I will honestly try to be more prudent. Really!!! I mean it this time!!! Put away that shotgun!!