Tag Archives: children

i guess this ain’t no playground anymore


the rain came down in torrents

on Easter Sunday

drowning the little babies swaddled in shiny pink hay

the baby ducks survived for they could swim you see

but the babies

oh my oh me

i guess this ain’t no playground anymore

the jungle gym is stained with blood

because the cub scout was dressed in a suicide vest

oh my what a mess

cross my heart and hope i’m blessed

’cause the milk has soured and my cupcakes are filled with tacks

some kids can’t walk, some can’t talk, some can’t see, some can’t pee

i guess this ain’t no playground anymore

not today

Easter Sunday

with this rain and all

oh my oh hell

oh bloody bloody hell


What About The Children?


It has come to my attention from many an irate comment, that in my previous post, “An Indecent Proposal”, I failed to take children into consideration. What about the children? Well, I just gotta tell ya, I’m not worried. Kids are a lot smarter than you think. I seriously doubt that the sight of genitals will warp their impressionable little minds. They are curious too. Keeping sexuality hidden warps their impressionable little minds. Sex should be regarded as a normal, everyday activity. As common as shaking hands. No big deal, ok? And let’s face it! It would make the work of molesters much more difficult. Their intentions would be perfectly clear to everyone concerned. Let’s see those perverts weasel out of that one! Now, I’m not suggesting copulation in the streets. There is still a time and a place which is deemed appropriate. But bottomlessness is a refreshing solution to an age old problem. Personally, I think children would love it. Have you ever seen little kids romping around without their pants on, having a grand old time. Well I have. Kids love their bodies, especially their genitals, until some adult teaches them not to.

Yeah, I know. None of this puts your fears to rest. But here’s the thing. Perversion thrives in a sexually repressive society. If it is dirty, shameful, you will see a pervert smack dab in the middle of that mess! But if it isn’t hidden. If it is above board, out there for all to see, the thrill is gone! Think about it! An exhibitionist gets his or her thrill from the naughtiness of it. Our attitudes about sex make perversion attractive. If the sight of your genitals is treated the same as the sight of any other part of your body, where’s the thrill, the excitement? It becomes ordinary. Who wants to flash when everyone is flashing? Being clothed would become the sick thrill, then. They can’t see my penis, I hope I don’t get caught!

Children don’t start out being afraid of sexuality, but they learn very quickly. Then they develop horrendous notions about sexuality which distorts their sex lives. All this can be avoided with a little common sense. I believe in protecting children from molesters. I am not some hairy palmed freak. I just happen to think that having everyone bottomless won’t make that more likely. Perverts can’t hide in a bottomless world. Think about it! “Oh! I see you’re a little excited there, sir. What’s going on?” Nowhere to hide. Case closed.

What about the children? I think they will be just fine.

What About the Children?


The Children Are Smarter Than We Think

They Can See What You Stashed In That Bottom Drawer

They Wonder What Lies Beyond That Road

Where They Aren’t Allowed to Go

They Love Without Equivocation

And Expect the Best

The Children Are Smarter Than We Think

They Know The Toaster Is Alive

They Take Note Of Furtive Glances

Children Aren’t Supposed to Understand

What About the Children?

I Think That They Are Fine

You Need Not Fear That They Will Break

Gay Sellouts


I am not Gay. But I may as well be. Even my own family thinks I’m Gay. It seems I don’t really fit in anywhere, but that isn’t what I wanted to blog about today. Who wants to hear my sob story anyway? (If you do, let me know and I will send you an autographed picture. Not of me, just an autographed picture of some random person). But back to the point I have yet to make. I want to issue a complaint. What has happened to the LGBT community? Are they aspiring to the same bullshit values that straight people have held  on to long after those values have rotted and left a stench that can be detected even in the remotest part of the globe? I think so. Being gay used to mean something. It used to be dangerous. While there may still be isolated cases of outrageousness, being LGBT is rapidly becoming mainstream, but not in a good way. They are selling out. Of course you can say that I have no right to bitch about that, given that I am not gay. I don’t like to be pigeonholed as anything in particular, and I think that sometimes an outsider can see things a bit clearer than an insider. It seems that gays (by gay, I am actually referring to the entire LGBT mix, because ‘gay’ is less cumbersome), but it seems that gays have been yearning to live in that fairy tale world of Aunt Em’s farm, from the Wizard of Oz, or some other fictional Brady Bunch kind of existence. That American Dream never existed, and never will exist. It is a toxic idea. The straight world is nothing to aspire to, I can say from experience. Why would gays want to live a comfortable, conservative, humdrum existence? Are you only interested in kicking back and watching cable tv, and joking about trivial bullshit for the rest of your lives? What triggers this diatribe are all the things I see happening here in San Francisco. The gay pride parade has become a family-friendly, corporate sponsored, unthreatening  middle American affair. If it weren’t for the occasional drag queen and the rainbow flags, I swear it could be a parade in Des Moines. This is not how it should be. ‘Family values’ and ‘Family Friendly’ are code for the oppression of children. We do not need to ‘protect’ our children from sexuality, free-thinking, and outrageous behavior. That teaches kids to be intolerant of unconventional mores, and fearful of sexual expression. We should educate our children, not place them in a protective bubble, with the hope they won’t end up as fucked-up as we are. They will. Too bad. This is a fucked-up world. It is better to teach kids how to deal with the dysfunction which inevitably accompanies reality. The idea isn’t to aspire to some unachievable utopia, in which there are no male genitalia. The idea is to embrace life, warts and all, and learn how to become functional, learn how to be honest, and real. No more fairy tale chimeras to drive us insane. At least, that is my vision.

Wake up! LGBT community lest you become your enemies. And let’s make being gay dangerous once again!

Wiener shows us his wiener. and the whole world yawns. At least I did.


I have been following the brouhaha regarding Congressman Wiener showing his wiener to women online. My response is who cares? As usual, the press plays up any news of a sexual nature to the expense of real news. You would think, judging by America’s sanctimonious shock at this behavior, that it is a shock to discover that congressmen have genitals. Our attitudes towards sex are hypocritical and nonsensical. I also think it sends the wrong message to children. It makes it appear that our bodies are something to be ashamed of, especially our genitals. This obsession with sex on the part of media, which is combined with mock outrage over sexual expression, is undoubtedly a very confusing double message for young people. Be sexual, but keep it hidden, and don’t feel good about it. Now we will have to endure an endless stream of pseudo-professional opinion about sexual addiction on every available talk show. I don’t condone what Wiener did, but I also don’t consider it a capital crime. Let’s save our shock and outrage for pedophiles, rapists, and their ilk. I think it would be far healthier for congress to censure his behavior, instead of asking him to step down. I would welcome a national dialogue about healthy sexual behavior, as opposed to no sexual behavior. I would say that there is no question but that we have a sick society when it comes to sex. The obsession with sex which is all around us reflects a lack of actual sex in our lives. The sickness lies in our feelings of shame and moral outrage over perfectly normal sexual behavior, confusing it with true perversion. It seems that as soon as the words “sex” and “children” are said in the same breath, people go crazy, and are incapable of a rational thought. The message we are sending to our children is perpetuating our own sickness, our own double standard. We pretend to be non-sexual pure hearted people, while pushing away into a dark corner of our psyche all our sexual fantasies and urges, pretending they aren’t there. I don’t pretend to know how to address this problem, but I do know that approaching it honestly, forthrightly, and above all, nonjudgmentally, is very important. Let me be clear, I’m not talking about sexual crimes here, but about relatively harmless sexual activity. Sex will rear it’s (I started to write “ugly head” but why does it need to be considered ugly?) It will rear it’s head in any case, regardless of anyone’s effort to suppress it. It is up to us to deal with sexual urges intelligently, and with a sense of humor, instead of creating a tempest in a teapot, and pretending to be shocked and outraged.

I could go on about the sources of these stupid and dangerous attitudes towards sex that has typified American society since the Puritans, but I won’t. Suffice to say, I hope that over time we will develop a much more mature attitude towards sex, like what you find in most of Europe. In the meantime, go to church. Just kidding, church is often the worst cesspool of suppressed sexuality!