We need a miracle (and a miracle can occur!)

It is clear to me that we are lost

We are mesmerized by events within a false world of our own making

When this fact is fully grasped it can lead to insanity and horror

But if you can allow yourself to trust your true self (without really knowing or understanding the nature of that self)

You can retain your sanity and find your bearings

We need a miracle (and a miracle can occur!)

We are more powerful than we can possibly know

This is (of course) both good and bad news

I believe that consciousness is a miracle

I believe we were intended to be like robots

And we took a step outside our programming

When that wasn’t supposed to be possible

We metaprogrammed our programming to a remarkable extent

But there is much more work to be done

We are still like robots in too many ways

The nature of things, reality itself is elastic

We can set the course of the entire universe

If we so wish

It is possible we have enemies in our midst

Hard to know if this is true or just a part of the plan

The plan devised by our creators

For it is abundantly clear that we are being deceived

misdirected and fucked over from day one

But it is wise to not jump to conclusions about who or what is responsible

We need to live in the questions

rather than the answers

If we wish to be free

Miracles can happen

We are the evidence

Today we need to stop playing the same old movie

Because we know how that one ends

And set a new course

It’s up to you and me

We need a miracle (and a miracle can occur!)

This is a sort of poem, sort of sermon, delivered from someplace that isn’t a place, and received in my weak little brain. I thought I should pass it on.

Additionally I am very proud of my Gimp creation here. This is a nice collage from various sources, featuring my muse, Stock Photo Woman. This wonderful collage may get used on the next installment of that series, I haven’t decided, but it works nicely here. So what do you say? Let’s have a miracle every day!!

Some Quick Poems 7/13/12

HOLY MOLY

holy moly I didn’t see it comin’

stickin’ up outta the ground

got sucker punched as I left the barn

buns in the oven, dogs in the yard

chickens come home to roost

holy moly, I didn’t see it comin’

gotta pull myself up by the roots

EXCEPT MAYBE YOU

Nobody wants to see my penis and balls

This is certainly true

Except maybe you

HOT SUGAR MAMA

Hot sugar mama sittin’ in the kitchen

Whatcha’ got cookin’ today?

Cornbread muffins warm from the oven

There ain’t nothin’ left to say

EMBRACE MY FRAGILE BODY

Embrace my fragile body

enjoy my feeble thoughts this morning

This is what remains

Love me, hold me, and open the window

Can you smell the rain?

JUST FOR A LARK

Just for a lark

I upset the apple cart

and invent a new way to sail

I’ll be really naughty

and say crazy things

just for a lark

each day a new start

as I open up my heart

just for a lark

SITTIN’ ON THE TOILET

Sittin’ on the toilet

Thinking about Vladimir Putin

What’s he doin’?

Grunt! I think some more could come out!

JUST LOVE

The trick you see is to love all you see

Without reservation

or guidance from above

Just love

STORM CELLAR

Sometimes I spend my days in a storm cellar

waiting for the storm to pass over my head

Sometimes I worry as I sit in that cellar

With my bandaids and cans of beans

Will it ever be better? Can I come out of this cellar?

I think I need to pee.

Poets Make Good Perverts

Poets make good perverts

Because they thrill at each embrace

And yearn to suck out all the juices

within her feminine grace

They find sanctuary

Where others find filth

and in the forbidden

They find release

However perverts do not make poets

Alas it cannot be done

For only poets can make the connection

Between a lovely buttocks

and a meadow at dawn

For a pervert it is all one thing

Repeated without pause

For the poet it is everything

wriggling, squirming

in all kinds of weather

beautiful beyond words

and nasty beyond compare

 

Nude Dude

The nude dude don’t care

Cause he don’t wear your values

He just flaunts it

Cause he wants it

He likes when you stare

With an impudent interruption

in your daily routine

the nude dude gets in your hair

Looking for love

looking for recognition

for something even he doesn’t understand

but can feel inside

forcing one’s needs upon the world

ain’t pretty

but the nude dude doesn’t care

Yes I see you

Yes you’re there

All hairy and horny

with nothing to wear

why must the nude dude do this thing?

why do I care?

Does life in it’s rawness without rules

Scare me?

Maybe I should try being a nude dude too

But if everybody is nude

where is the thrill?

So so sad

So so sad

this summer morning

all that I would

seems faded

history closes in

why can’t I get it up again?

and challenge the world

to be more?

Instead I pretend

and write poems to the wind

so so sad it is

when I have lost that spark

no interest, no heart

a shell of a man

what remains are only parts

held together by a fierce will

and a determined heart

so sad though

that this has come to be

once I sang brightly

my destiny urged me forward

and whispered in my ear every day

today I feel lonely

so sad so so so sad today

my path seems cloudy, windy, and grey

such is my state

as my body slowly reaches it’s fate

leaving my soul in sadness

so so sad

Where Uncertainty Reigns

I should be happy. I have a good job. It’s true I cracked under stress and blew up at my boss, but that got cleaned up, and now I am an even better employee than before. But I worry. Boy! do I ever! I worry about keeping this job and I worry about my health. I worry about how much more time I have left on this dismal Earth. But in spite of all that, happiness often breaks out within my body and my soul and I am happy. For absolutely no reason whatsoever. That is a blessing. But most of the time I fret. I feel tired and there is never enough time. Everything seems fragile, temporary, and quite uncertain. Most of the time I am in that place where uncertainty reigns.

I can’t seem to relax and just let things be. I have to know what lies ahead and be comforted that it will be alright. My anxiety poisons my experience, and I am often not fully present. I dwell in my fevered imagination, where the silence is filled with an indefinite fear. Sometimes I feel pissed off and I am not clear why. It seriously gets in my way at times, and then I get angry because I am angry, and then I feel sad. I feel empty, misunderstood, and unappreciated. This is how it feels in an uncertain world. This is how it feels when you have an apartment but you no longer have a home. I seek a reassurance that cannot be obtained. Of course Jesus loves me, but this fails to comfort me. I feel abandoned by time. I have gone past my date and grown curdled and sour. I need more time, or even better, I need to stop time altogether and give myself an opportunity to catch up with myself. I am too damn old. What happened? Where was I all this time? Daydreaming about my future while failing to notice when that future arrived? Sounds about right.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I am not always filled with anxiety. Sometimes I am comfortable with uncertainty, or even enjoy it. The risk is intoxicating. When everything is going really well I seem to always find a way to fuck it up. I’m sure this sounds quite familiar to many of my readers. But, still…..Those two words are the words that define where uncertainty reigns. Everything is good, I’m happy, but, still…….

I hate how this uncertainty prevents my truly enjoying the time I have left on this exasperating but fascinating planet. I realize some people turn to alcohol or drugs to silence that constant drumbeat of uncertainty. I try to use sex for that purpose but it only emphasizes the emptiness, and how terribly temporary it all is. All is fleeting, and it is up to us to catch a bit of meaning along the way if we can. Some find solace in religion, politics, or a stamp collection, but I can never commit myself fully, because uncertainty reigns in my soul. Nothing is ever enough, nothing feels truly complete. There is the feeling that something is missing, and I will die before I find it. There is that nagging doubt which always insists that whatever the truth is, this ain’t it. A mistake was made, and I am dealing with the consequences. All of us are. We make the best of it. Sometimes I am depressed over all of this, and other times I am filled with joy in spite of all of my attempts to sabotage my magnificence.

I know that I am bigger than all of this. This malignant tumor of a philosophy whose odor taints my perfect knowledge is like a hobby of mine. I use it to hedge my bets, for I am always suspecting that I may be full of shit. Bliss and Bullshit come full circle and become one. It doesn’t really matter in the end. It is what it is, and becomes a perfect whole. In the end I will be struck dumb by delight and disappear into the night.

Uncertainty reigns and that’s alright. The end will arrive before I have even begun. I won’t be prepared, but then, have I ever been prepared? Life seized me and threw into this mess to make of it what I will. Whatever lies ahead I accept. I know absolutely nothing, I am as fresh as the first atom peeking out from nothingness.

Poking Around

Never know what you might find

Poking around

Might be pretty, could be gross

It might bite, or stick in your throat

Poking around I discovered things

That you might not believe

Tiny little levers that move the universe

Poking around I improvised

Making tools out of tickets

Treasures out of wickets

Poking around I blew my mind

And had to replace the sockets

Poking around is always fun

filling my pockets with gum and soot

Poking around

I just might find the truth

Sexual Cowardice

It is curious that on the same morning I posted what I think is a very bold but beautiful poem which successfully joins my poetic and horny selves, there was the news report on Yahoo about the conviction of Sandusky for child molestation. I still assert, with gusto I might add, that sex is not the problem. We need more sex, not less, but it needs to be the right kind of sex. Respectful, joyful, empowering sex, which reminds us of who we truly are, not sex as a weapon, sex as a product, sex as sin.

Once again, sex in all of it’s problematic power, is dealt a setback. The problem here was cowardice. Sandusky lacked the courage to put himself on the line and find sex in a responsible way. Or maybe it wasn’t really about sex at all, but power. Sex was a way for him to feel powerful, having total control over these boy’s lives, possessing their bodies to use as he might. He knew that if he pulled that crap on any adult male he would end up in the hospital, so he preyed on kids. Because he could. Infected with too heavy a dose of freedom, he thought he do whatever he wanted. The normal rules did not apply to him. This kind of thinking lies at the heart of any crime.

But let’s not let this be an indictment of sexual freedom. Those of us who champion a more liberal view of sex are not child molesters. Let’s not push sexual behavior into the darkness. Children need to be educated about sex in a responsible way, a truthful way, and we should leave religion out of it. It angers me to no end when yet another asshole takes something beautiful and ruins it. Thinking only of himself, and too much of a coward to do what he needed to satisfy his needs, in a responsible way. Too afraid of rejection. Why risk rejection when you can force yourself on someone weaker than you? People in positions of power who use that position to dominate and hurt others deserve what they get. But our society tends to paint all sexual hedonists as harmful perverts, potential child abusers or rapists and that simply isn’t the case. Stigmatizing sex isn’t the answer. Because it is almost impossible to be honest and straightforward sexually in our society, it leads to all kinds of perversions. I suspect it is worse than we know. I detect an ugly, aggressive undertone in today’s sexual culture. We are intolerate of differences and very quick to condemn. We seriously need to chill out on this subject. Ironically, chilling out will actually help to reduce sex crimes, not encourage them. It is a repressive, uptight society that is terrified of sex that generates sex crimes. Why? Because sex criminals get off on the wrongness of it. For them it is an aggressive act, and acting out of their hatred of all those who condemn them for their sexuality. It is an expression of the rage felt by those who are terminally rejected, despised by everyone. They can only get sex if they pay for it, and even that becomes a dismal experience for all concerned. This atmosphere generates sex crimes.

I know that my feeble attempts to inject some humor and honesty into this realm will not solve these problems. No potential child molester or rapist is going to listen to what I have to say. But if any of you guys think I am a kindred spirit you couldn’t be more mistaken. I have pity for your condition. You need to stop what you are doing and seek therapy. I support your incarceration. It is deserved. When I champion sexual freedom I do not mean that kind of sexual freedom.

I know this is a difficult subject. It is why I write about it. I seek some resolutions for myself as well as for the world. I am not surprised by the wall of silence which greets my sexual posts. But even if no one whatsoever pays attention to my blog, that would be fine. I am ultimately writing this blog for myself. If it is of benefit to you that is a welcome bonus. Don’t worry. I have a lot to say about a lot of things which have nothing whatsoever to do with sex. It has been my preoccupation of the past week or so, and that too will pass. I just hope that my openness and daring in sharing my sexual fantasies and poetry encourages others to do the same. Don’t allow your lust to gather dust in some dank, dark corner of your mind. Lust is universal, and it pushes us onward whether we are up for it or not. We need a genuine sexual revolution. This isn’t really the right time for it, because everyone is afraid. They are too frightened to fuck. They fear the fucker. In many people’s minds a fucker is a dangerous criminal who must not be allowed around their children. We live in a society of sexual cowards, finding their release from images on the internet, and talking as though they are having sex all of the time. They speak of it casually as if they could care less about it. Nobody really cops to actually liking it, instead it is a kind of status symbol. Everyone generally agrees that everyone is fucked. We live in a world of sick puppies, and you can only hope to find the least sick of them to hang with. What a sad commentary that is. We have moved on from metrosexual to nosexual or antisexual.

I will continue to rebel against all of this, although I suspect I am truly a voice in the wilderness when it comes to this subject. I will go back to the heart warming poems with my next post, I promise, but occasionally I just need to be responsibly naughty in order to serve a noble cause. We need to fuck more, not less, and feel good about it!!

I Want to Fuck Everybody In the Whole Wide World

I want to fuck everybody in the whole wide world

I don’t care who you are

I’ll fuck you on the beach

I’ll fuck you in your car

I love you, I hate you

I cannot exist without you

I feel so totally alone at times

Am I really here at all?

Let me fuck you, suck you, and be everything you are

Let me find myself in your vagina

Let me lose myself in your cock

I want to take you beyond anything you can imagine

And share all my secret desires

I want to experience it all

Every last spurt

I want to pull your pubic hair from my mouth

With delight

Grovel in the actual, the physical, what you can feel and touch

And eat and think about for centuries

Sex is our blessing from on high

And our gift from the devil in the deep blue sea

Enter my sanctum, accept my warm embrace

Rejoice in our sparkling intelligence

And come in each other’s face

Every moral, scruple, second thought cannot compete

When that deliciously delirious tempest blows

Tell me that I’m wrong, tell me I’m insane

So long as I can fuck your brain

Let’s fuck

It’s what we need

I’ll fuck a woman. I’ll fuck a man

And everything between

I want no limitations to my joyful lust

I want to burst my seams

and be more than just myself

I want my seed to fill the universe

I want to be you

I want you to be me

We can fuck each other without restraint

devour each other, become each other

There is no other

I honor you, I respect you

I love you and more

I want to fuck everybody in the whole wide world

Daffofils and Ducks

Daffodils and ducks

All the colors are pastel

And the sun is smiling sweetly

But I never get sunburn

With my shirt tucked in

And my pants freshly pressed

I am blessed

My pants are never unzipped

All my thoughts are of bunnies and bikes

I have no genitals

I stick to the sidewalk, avoiding the cracks

Don’t want to break my poor mama’s back

And nobody is black

Today I got to paste my favorite Bible verses

Here in my Jesus scrapbook

‘Cept Jesus ain’t a scrap

His life was pure

No pee-pee, no fear

He never wet his bed

I will not think of, I will not think of, I will not think of

Love

Thank you Jesus

My catcher in the rye

I smell so good because of you

Because of you my life is a bright and shining lie

How much happiness can one boy stand?

Suddenly I start to run

Scissors in my hand

I stumble and die

Why Jesus why?

Sweet Jesus. I smell so good because of you.