No regrets

I know you get tired of my requests

I should know by now that I’m a pest

I should leave you alone

And never pick up the phone

No regrets

We started out fine without stress

Enjoyed each other’s observations

Engaging in all the proper conversations

And yet

I’m not going to say that I’m glad

Watching our love just fade away

Without fanfare

No regrets

It’s a shame but it’s just the same

as before

and will probably be this way again

So no regrets

No tears

No long stupid conversations

Just walk away

No regrets

I Can’t Wait

There may come a time when

we can love one another without fear

reveal ourselves in naked glory

and accept our differences good and bad

I can’t wait

It is a long long road to where we need to be

But some of us are walking already

It is so easy to despair

So easy not to care

To get angry and explode

I know. I know, we all seek to represent

But we need love

Now more than ever

I can’t wait

It is going to be so lovely

We can’t stop now

Keep on walking toward what we know is true

I can’t wait

It’s a brand new day today

It’s a brand new day today

The sun is shining brightly

I can breath today

I can hold my cat on my lap

As Billie Holliday sings

Tapping at my computer

Happy once again

Can’t account for it

The world is still what it is

Death has been working overtime

And catastrophe just a few steps away

From my door

Still here I sit feeling a deep well of compassion

Beneath the blood-stained Earth

Every day someone falls in love

And new life begins

It’s a brand new day today

Anything can happen

Let’s make it happy

Let’s make it good

Some Quick Poems 7/13/12

HOLY MOLY

holy moly I didn’t see it comin’

stickin’ up outta the ground

got sucker punched as I left the barn

buns in the oven, dogs in the yard

chickens come home to roost

holy moly, I didn’t see it comin’

gotta pull myself up by the roots

EXCEPT MAYBE YOU

Nobody wants to see my penis and balls

This is certainly true

Except maybe you

HOT SUGAR MAMA

Hot sugar mama sittin’ in the kitchen

Whatcha’ got cookin’ today?

Cornbread muffins warm from the oven

There ain’t nothin’ left to say

EMBRACE MY FRAGILE BODY

Embrace my fragile body

enjoy my feeble thoughts this morning

This is what remains

Love me, hold me, and open the window

Can you smell the rain?

JUST FOR A LARK

Just for a lark

I upset the apple cart

and invent a new way to sail

I’ll be really naughty

and say crazy things

just for a lark

each day a new start

as I open up my heart

just for a lark

SITTIN’ ON THE TOILET

Sittin’ on the toilet

Thinking about Vladimir Putin

What’s he doin’?

Grunt! I think some more could come out!

JUST LOVE

The trick you see is to love all you see

Without reservation

or guidance from above

Just love

STORM CELLAR

Sometimes I spend my days in a storm cellar

waiting for the storm to pass over my head

Sometimes I worry as I sit in that cellar

With my bandaids and cans of beans

Will it ever be better? Can I come out of this cellar?

I think I need to pee.

Everybody Needs Someone To Love

You may stumble as you walk

and the wind may whip your face

You can’t think of the right thing to say

and so you remain frozen and gray

Somedays you laugh and think it’s not so bad

other times you cry

One thing is for sure

Everybody needs someone to love

You can try to go it alone

and never answer your phone

Walk around dumbfounded

wishing everything were different

If only you were young, tough, handsome and smart

whatever you do one thing holds true

Everybody needs someone to love

You need someone there

Simple and pure

They don’t need to be just right

you may even fight

But everybody needs someone to love

 

It’s a Long Long Journey to Your Heart

The daffodils you planted

Still remain

Swaying in the gentle summer breeze

It’s a long, long journey to your heart

I remember how you smiled

And tried to make it all ok

It’s a long, long journey to your heart

I had a dream one time

I had made my way back home

All the windows were broken

The rooms filled with dust

It’s a long, long journey to your heart

We argued, we fought, we had so much to say

So far away, so very far away

If I could have you back

If I could hold you in my arms

I would be young again

I can almost remember your face

It’s a long, long journey to your heart

And time is drawing short

Soon all will be forgotten

The sun is fading

The crows are cawing

It’s a long, long journey to your heart

 

I Want to Fuck Everybody In the Whole Wide World

I want to fuck everybody in the whole wide world

I don’t care who you are

I’ll fuck you on the beach

I’ll fuck you in your car

I love you, I hate you

I cannot exist without you

I feel so totally alone at times

Am I really here at all?

Let me fuck you, suck you, and be everything you are

Let me find myself in your vagina

Let me lose myself in your cock

I want to take you beyond anything you can imagine

And share all my secret desires

I want to experience it all

Every last spurt

I want to pull your pubic hair from my mouth

With delight

Grovel in the actual, the physical, what you can feel and touch

And eat and think about for centuries

Sex is our blessing from on high

And our gift from the devil in the deep blue sea

Enter my sanctum, accept my warm embrace

Rejoice in our sparkling intelligence

And come in each other’s face

Every moral, scruple, second thought cannot compete

When that deliciously delirious tempest blows

Tell me that I’m wrong, tell me I’m insane

So long as I can fuck your brain

Let’s fuck

It’s what we need

I’ll fuck a woman. I’ll fuck a man

And everything between

I want no limitations to my joyful lust

I want to burst my seams

and be more than just myself

I want my seed to fill the universe

I want to be you

I want you to be me

We can fuck each other without restraint

devour each other, become each other

There is no other

I honor you, I respect you

I love you and more

I want to fuck everybody in the whole wide world

Tenderness

Amid all the jostling

hurly burly hurry and worry

I miss the tenderness

solidly standing always ready

to do my duty

I lose the tenderness

weary worn please don’t come near

Too tired for tenderness today

all the familiar pains return

without the tenderness

the sun shines brutal

as I soldier on

the tenderness is gone

I raise my hand weakly

will you help?

a smile, a wink, would be fine

won’t you help me find

that precious tenderness

Love and Trust

I just got through having a long conversation with my brother, David. He called because he saw that I tried to reach him a couple of times recently, and he knew I had cataract surgery coming up tomorrow. We talked about many many things as usual, covering a very wide gamut of subjects. But two things stand out in my mind. Love and Trust. Of course, trust naturally flows from love, so that is a bit redundant. Love is the only thing that matters. Love without definition. Just love. We all know what it is, and only get confused when we try to think about it. It is a simple thing. When David told me he had come to the realization that to love is the whole point, I felt no need to elaborate or clarify. Of course, the whole idea of love drives a lot of people crazy because love has all manner of implications and caveats and whatnot. I’m not talking about that kind of love. That kind of love isn’t love. It is addiction, a soft fuzzy burden which smothers all it touches. Or it is hatred disguised as love. Love with an agenda isn’t love. Love just is. You can’t get it or lose it. Love does not lie outside of yourself, it is yourself and every other living being as well. God is Love.

Ok so all that sounds good but so what. I am about to go into a frightening situation in which I could conceivably lose my sight. How very nice to know that I am loved, but it doesn’t change anything, my skeptical mind complains. That part of myself really hates it when all the ‘love’ talk begins. Sure, I agree, I say to that part of me. I could lose my sight, I could get in a car accident on the way to the hospital, or I could trip on something at home and bust open my skull. Who knows? There are all kinds of gruesome possibilities. But I ain’t worried, because I have trust. I trust the surgeon is going to do his best. The nurses are going to do their best. I am going to bend the quantum mechanical curve, my friends! My positive attitude which does not allow for mishaps or the odd chance of disaster, but embraces the high probability of success, can actually have an effect upon events. Sure it does! my skeptical mind retorts. Retort all you wish, I reply, but I refuse to be rational at a time like this. It doesn’t satisfy my need for magic. I need for this surgery to work magnificently. Of course I am nervous and I worry, but I trust that it will be fine, even better than fine.

Love and Trust are the foundations of a happy, successful life. Magnificent things can come out of simple trust. Someone who is trusted can perform miracles. Love can transform any circumstance into an opportunity for growth. Whatever happens to me in my life I will use it to learn and help others learn. I feel that this is what we are here for. To learn how to live, how to love and to trust. Part of me rebels at all this stuff I am writing. It distrusts my own belief. Beliefs are for wimps. What I am peddling is much stronger stuff, which the skeptical, rebellious part of me cannot fathom. That part of me does not have the language to speak of such things. A belief is but a pale shadow of the thing itself. I am not satisfied with mere belief. I want to be swept off my feet by the truth, and struck speechless by the magnificence of my own certainty. And yet my mind chatters on…..So be it. It is in it’s nature to chatter. I need to go to bed now, feeling a bit of trepidation mixed with the bright light of foolish confidence, and the cool pragmatic logic which provides it’s own form of comfort. Thanks to everyone for their loving concern for my welfare. It is appreciated. Whatever happens I am loved.

You always hurt the ones you love

Why is that? Why do we always hurt the ones we love? Because we invest so much in them. They define us. We look to them for validation. We want their approval, their love and respect. When we fail to get what we expect, or what we yearn for, we are filled with hurt. We lash out at them so they might feel our pain, and be sorry for what they did. The old hurt me hurt you blues. The song that never ends. It’s crazy.

Here”s a tip. Treat your friends and loved ones with the same common courtesy and respect you would a stranger. Very simple. You don’t carry all that stupid baggage with you when you interact with a stranger. You listen to them and speak to them with a freshness that is sorely lacking in your more intimate associations. Treat each moment as if you had just met this person, even if you have known them for fifty years. Rediscover the qualities that attracted you back then, instead of replaying old hurts. It will transform your relationships.

We seem to be afraid of two things. That the other significant other (be it friend, lover, relative, whatever), doesn’t really love you and will probably leave you. Or that they love too much and are smothering you to death and you have to get rid of them. It becomes a dance of each trying to get something from the other, and not succeeding. That is where the resentments begin. Give them a break. Don’t expect anything. End the dance. Just let them be. If the relationship fades, don’t feel the need to fight it. If it blossoms, don’t do anything to try to make it stay that way or it will wilt right away. Relationships cannot be forced. It doesn’t work to try to manipulate people. Just let people be.

Good advice. I’m full of it. But I rarely practice it. But I will tell you this. I am so sick of hurting the ones I love. There is no pay off. Friends and lovers, relatives or children are not wastebaskets. Stop tossing your garbage there. Each person should be treated as an opportunity for something unique and special to occur. Turn off the old recordings you carry around in your head and be empty, and life becomes fresh once again.

Our neuroses cause us to destroy what we most value. That energy can be redirected to create our relationships anew each moment.