Tag Archives: internet

New Day New Chance

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This is what I wrote about myself for my new blog, New Day New Chance. I am keeping this blog, russell5087 even though it was the home for what are now bitter memories. I gotta live with those memories instead of trying to push it out of my mind. I think I might keep the new blog going as an exclusively poetry site. I already got one ‘like’ and it just got started. russellpop is kind of on hold, and the other one nolongerexists. So there! I still feel awful and kind of shellshocked, but I don’t want to write any more than that about it.

Here’s my little blurb about myself for the new blog:

I am a precocious older man of 58. I love to write, and publish my thoughts. I love when what I write serves as an inspiration to others. I just like it when I am discovered. When people seem to like me I am thrilled. I hate when I upset people, and I lose sleep over it. Sometimes I deserve to lose sleep. All of my writing has the underlying motive of really getting into the nitty gritty of experience, and waking up to what things are really all about. These are the kinds of things that thrill me.

Then I also wrote this little intro which I want to repeat here.

Hello!!

I am not new to blogging. I have had others, but only one was successful. But because I was not a responsible blogger, I was asked to take down a large part of that blog. I have learned my lesson, and this blog will be my attempt to clean up my act and be more responsible. I believe I can do this without losing my sense of humor or becoming hopelessly boring. I just need to take other people into consideration when I blog. I don’t want to hurt anybody, make anybody really angry, or embarrass anyone. That isn’t the sort of thing I enjoy. I have found that my poems are often quite popular so there will be plenty of them. I will also repost some of my favorite posts from my previous blog, but not anything that I believe anyone would object to. I am going to be much more careful this time around.

I still want to write in a way that challenges people to think, and to see things from a new and different perspective. I will still be outrageous but in a good way. I think you will enjoy my posts. The illustrations are going to be a bit more sparse because they will depend on my own original photos and artwork. I am no longer going to use any images without permission from the photographer and the model, if any. Nobody likes to see their picture showing up in strange places. This means I can’t just jump onto Google Image and find something to illustrate my post, but that’s alright. I will have to rely more on my imagination and leave the real world and real people out of it. Pure fiction. That is the best route to go for some of my creations. I also plan on writing commentary on real world events and people, and will do so responsibly.

Observing the degree that I had become an internet pirate, so to speak, alarmed me. It is very easy to slide down this particularly slippery slope. You watch as your stats rise and push the envelope a bit more each time, thinking that will attract more readers, failing to see that you have crossed a line. I don’t like to upset people, and being asked to take down posts is hard on my heart. I would rather post things that I know aren’t going to pose a problem for anyone. I think if I really work at it, that can be every bit as exciting as posts that push the envelope and risk blowback. I am so sickened by my last blog and some of the things I posted that I don’t even want to post under that blog anymore. It has become tainted. I want a new clean slate from which to start. Hence, New Day New Chance. Each day is like that, you can turn everything around each day if you truly want to.

Who am I? I am a 58 year old kid who never grew up, lives in a studio apartment in San Francisco with his cat, and works at a nice job where he greets tourists all day long. He loves writing and music, and art. He loves going into subjects and tackling things that sometimes get him into trouble. But he doesn’t want to go that route with this blog, because it isn’t worth the blowback. However, as before I do have a central purpose and theme, which is to help people, especially myself, to wake up. Waking up can be wonderful, and it can be very painful. Lately, it has been pretty painful indeed. I hope that the followers from my last blog will follow this one, because, you know what? there isn’t anything to follow on that old blog anymore. It is history. This is what is happening.

So that is what I wrote: TO BE CLEAR, I AM NOT GOING TO END THIS BLOG, BUT I HAVE CLEANED IT UP, TOOK OUT THE GARBAGE AND WILL LIKELY KEEP BOTH BLOGS GOING, BUT WILL LIKELY LET russellpop fade away into that place where blogs that don’t work out go. And that other blog I had? It nolongerexists.

Well, actually, I don’t think I am going to be quite as rigorous as I outlined above. There are some images that I just know are not going to pose a problem for anyone, they won’t be attached to objectionable content, and I wouldn’t be causing harm or embarrassment to anyone from posting them. But after what happened I am going to be a lot more careful.
So I have calmed down a little bit and have realized that perhaps the world isn’t coming to an end. I was running out of ideas for that project anyway, and it was consequently getting really weird. So it is just as well that it is over. I will start new projects that don’t cause problems for people anywhere, just my own private creations, using all my own sources. So stay tuned!!! I am not dead yet, although I do smell a little funny.

Second Thoughts

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These have been a difficult few days. I have had second thoughts about closing out this blog, and beginning a new one. I have worked hard building up this blog and developing a small following. Do I really want to start from scratch again? Not really. Mainly, I just want to clean things up. I need to clean up my apartment, and I need to clean up this blog. I just need to clean up, period. I am still feeling horrible over ‘that thing I don’t even want to think about anymore’. I learned that I need to be very mindful about what I post. I have been far too reckless. Hopefully, I have repaired the damage. I had developed an emotional attachment to that whole project, investing a lot of time and energy into it, but it was wrong from the start. I could easily have created a graphic novel or cartoon using images entirely of my own making, and I may still. But I was lazy, and …like I said, I don’t really want to think about it. However, I shouldn’t just dump the whole blog because of this one big mistake. There is an abundance of worthwhile material in this blog that doesn’t infringe on anyone else’s rights, doesn’t use images without permission etc. So I should continue on, responsibly. It’s hard. I don’t feel like blogging right now. I feel like hibernating. I want to have a very low profile.

Should I go or should I stay?

Should I pack it in?

I know I have caused some hurt

And that hurts

Carry on

I have good things to do

A worthwhile contribution

I’ll do what I can do

To repair the damage

Second thoughts about hiding away

As unhappy as I am

I think I’ll stay

What’s Your Status?

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Frightened little girl

Whose lost her mother

In a fire

What’s your status?

An Asian man fiddling with his iPhone

pondering his future on the J-train

What’s your status?

Young man selling crack on a corner

As the fierce wind swells

What’s your status?

Lying in bed, dying by degrees

Hair thinning out

body filled with disease

what’s your status?

little boy back home from baseball practice

skinned knee, band-aid, Skittles and iced tea

what’s your status?

what’s your status America?

you gonna make it out ok?

Give me an update

I’m worried about you.

The Thing Is (lol)

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The Thing Is

There’s not enough room

For all your dreams and aspirations

Scale it back, be realistic

lol

The Thing Is

Compromise is a part of life

It is what it is

We can’t finish this conversation

I’m dropping out

lol

The Thing Is

There is only so much money

And we don’t have enough for you

Sorry for the inconvenience

We appreciate your understanding

lol

The Thing Is

I thought you knew we were only friends

While we were hanging around

Sorry

lol

The Thing Is

My battery is low

Can’t talk now

Magic

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A new universe emerges as the Buddha continues to sit.

There is an inexplicable thread, a connection between all things past present and future. I cannot explain or write intelligently about it, but I nevertheless am. For it perplexes, thrills, frustrates, and propels me forward to the next thing, always, the next thing. I sometimes feel as though I am serving some other purpose than the one I have half-wittingly devised for myself. I sometimes feel protected, other times the world has conspired to kick me in the ass. What is the point? I grow very tired of asking. I am driven to stay awake when I want so much to sleep. Why? Why do I have so much to say? to create? Am I holding back the tide of death?

This leads to the topic of this post, magic. Do you believe in magic? asked the Lovin’ Spoonful. I believe in that perfect sunny day, when everything is right, and love is in the air. Oh yes, I believe, although Davey Jones is dead, I still believe. Remember that old film, “Field of Dreams”? I know it is corny, but there is truth in that phrase, “If you build it, they will come.” but here is how I would say it. If you can imagine it, fully, in delightful detail, you can bring it into being.  No matter how outrageous it may seem, or hopeless, pointless or whatever other adjective your mind comes up with to sabotage your efforts. You must imagine freely, with abandon, without purpose or reward. Imagine boldly! Like a solar flare! This fire of creativity does not lie within a single breast. It is shared throughout eternity, an inexhaustible resource with unlimited downloads. and it’s free!

Yes I know, I have written this drivel before, my skeptical side protests. and what good has it done? To this mind there can be no adequate response. For such a mind gazes into it’s own reflection and it is always exactly the same old dull disappointment, rendering a dazzling array of colors to various tones of gray. Such is the mislabeled discerning mind, upon which we foolishly depend. I do not believe one word of this post and so what? The truth does not seek approval. The truth does not require your vote. So put such foolishness aside. And Dream!

There is a hidden network, a not so silent anymore brotherhood embarked upon the same journey, engaged in the same task. You can find it on the internet, in a small overlooked church, or a restored Victorian house converted into a Zen Center. You find it in a mosh pit, or a tent in the Sudan. You find it on campuses, in military bases, and playgrounds. A single thread connects us all unknowingly, perhaps even unwillingly. Therein lies the magic. In ways we cannot possibly imagine, we truly have the power to do impossible things.

This is definitely one of “those” posts. The ones I nevertheless put out there even though I have my doubts. You see, somebody wrote this using my hands. Or else there is another Russell I am beginning to know better and better each time he writes such things as this. I think I like that idea much better!

Blogs are antiquated

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That was what I heard tonight at a meeting at the San Francisco Library regarding blogs, social media, and our communities. It was very poorly attended which surprised me. There were a lot of chairs and only about an eighth of them were filled, about 15 people. I’m not sure if this reflects a lack of interest in blogs, social media, or the local community. Some guy in the audience observed that blogs are going out of style, that the future belongs to Facebook. Who bothers with blogs anymore? Well, I do, and I am not particularly fond of Facebook, in spite of the fact that I am on it. I think that is true of a lot of people that are on Facebook. So I think that guy has it wrong. Facebook is antiquated. It is a totally profit driven, ad driven machine which intrudes into our lives, whereas blogs are an opportunity to express ourselves more fully, and honestly, than Facebook can easily facilitate. Facebook is People magazine, blogs are The New Yorker. At least that is how I see it. I wish I had said it at the meeting. Only myself and another person, from the audience, stepped up to the microphone to say what we were doing blogwise in our community. I was enthusiastic and ignored the strong wind and sagebrush rolling through the room. I mentioned that it felt very strange to be having more of a conversation with somebody in Wales than the people living across the hall from me.  But the friend I went with commented on the walk home, that it didn’t bother him at all that our most significant relationships in the future will likely be online. I imagine myself lying in a tube, hooked up to a machine, experiencing everything virtually, like in the Matrix. No thanks.

The meeting was interesting otherwise. Some people who had nonprofit blogs related to San Francisco were there. One was http://www.outsidelands.org which compiles photos and video about San Francisco history. It looked like a very fun website, fulfilling a good purpose. These guys did all this work getting this archival material on the web, without getting paid for their efforts. So much for my hope that I might get a job doing this sort of thing. I see a tremendous need to get the mountain of historical material sitting in people’s attics onto the web. This is a window onto the past which remains unmined, and we may lose it forever. I would like to see a linkup between cities, towns, and even countries to make this material easily available. Given that I love history, it would be an exciting project. But I need an income at the moment. I don’t really want to be a homeless volunteer. The other website represented on the panel was richmondsfblog.com which focuses on the San Francisco Richmond District, it’s history and it’s present. They talked about how they use Facebook and Twitter to increase traffic to their sites. I was still wondering how the organizers of this event could have increased the traffic to this physical in-the-real-world site. I was honestly surprised that in a major city like SF a meeting about blogs and social media would have such a low turnout. Are these topics that boring? Maybe if they had advertised that there would be cute kittens at the meeting, it would have made a difference.

There are all kinds of ways that bloggers can bring the events of their community to the attention of the world, or at least to the members of their community. But nobody seems to care all that much. I would like to find ways to connect with the people in my own neighborhood. There are times when we might just need one another and some guy on the web living half way around the world isn’t going to be able to check on you after you have gotten home from the hospital, or let you know there is a help wanted sign in the window of a local business. I eagerly offered some suggestions at the meeting, but afterward no one approached me about anything. Of course, as anti-social as I am, I mingled for about three seconds before leaving. I am not a mingler. I know that is very ironic, I knock myself out online sharing myself and can’t have a conversation in the flesh. What is wrong with me????

Nevertheless, there are all kinds of opportunies with blogs and social media which haven’t been explored. So, let’s brainstorm people!! We can do better than Facebook if we put our minds to it. And let’s see if we can leave our computers long enough to actually meet some flesh and blood people and engage in some 3-D social media, otherwise called ‘real life’.

In parting, I would like to share some interesting media regarding San Francisco history, as an adjunct to the previous post on the city. This is color footage of SF in 1940 courtesy of glbthistory.org